Somebody should make a movie around this message of jaded adults refinding their humanity in an absurd, hyperconsumerist world through the rejection of cynicism and embracing of liking things again, but cleverly disguise it as a movie made to sell plastic dolls to little girls to play on the concept of hyperconsumerism.

I think this hypothetical movie will be a smashing success in the box office. And probably win the lead actress an Oscar this year.

Not funny.

Not a meme.

If I hear Christmas music before at least November, I will go nuclear

I don’t mind people putting up decorations early, it’s when stores swap out their seasonal stock early that triggers me

Letting go of the part of you that judges other people is important. It hurts, because that is one of the few avenues of control we can experience in our lives alienated by capitlaism.

Letting your self be free of those childish emotions and learning to replace them with love for your fellows is the path towards true happiness however. That is one of those weird tricks the government doesn't want you to know. Except it is real and it works. The more negative you are about other people the more negativity you experience and the more treats you need to buy to survive. The heart of every true revolutionary is full of love.

I don't criticize people for enjoying those things, I criticize the corporations for relentlessly monetizing those things, making them insufferable and sucking all the enjoyment out of them for money.

Let people not like things.

But what about the shriveled flower of joy I get from shitting on their happiness

I just want to end misspelling "avocado" .

The problem here is that all of these people have turned their consumer choices into their identities and thus they feel personally attacked whenever they hear criticism of the products they consume.

It's incredibly unhealthy and something everyone should work to weed out of their mindset if they want to grow as a person instead of being perpetually unhappy because others criticising things isn't going anywhere.

Wild how happiness only seems to exist in commodities

You had me until the too early decorations. The other things don't take away my joy. That does.

This is humanity, there will be no joy! ☝️

The drug cartels receive a substantial amount of money from avocado production (weird but apparently true)

Cinnamon is carcinogenic

Many fandoms have a disturbingly sexual element (especially my little pony)

Halloween is a celebration of consumerism, microplastics and diabetes.

I'm sure there's a dark side to d&d but I can't think of it right now.

You're welcome

If I can't criticize every insignificant difference in lifestyle that I have with a stranger that I probably won't ever talk to again in my life. How else will I stroke my ego and fulfill my basic need of feeling superior to others?

Halloween is my favorite time of the year!

Serious.

If you are seriously annoyed by any of these things, then it should be a reminder of how unburdened and care free your life is that such a thing actually bugs you, and spark a sense of pride and contentment instead.

I found my tiny shriveled flower of joy in being a hater. Today's target: people who upvoted this garbage. The fuck is wrong with you? It's not a meme and it's not funny, it doesn't belong on this community, and it's so sanctimonious it gave me diarrhea.

Tomorrow's target: people who push all their furniture up against the wall
Thursday's target: Scots

Isn't the whole gripe with Pumpkin Spiced whatever the same with Christmas decorations popping up in mid-October? Like, its not fucking special if you're putting nutmeg in my coffee in June.

Same with the D&D / Marvel / Roblox / Whatever fandom of choice. It was fine twenty years ago when it was the New Thing. Now we're pushing 100+ hours of Disneyfied extended universe content on Marvel alone. Half my "recommended" podcast feed is six C-list celebrities making the soy face in front of a pair of crossed battle axes. And my street is lined with shitty faux-bakery corporate cafeterias trying to sell a piece of rye bread covered in guacamole for $15/slice.

Who actually enjoys this shit anymore? It feels like I'm being sealed into Disneyland, like a Pharaoh buried alive in his pyramid. It stopped being fun ages ago. Now I'm torn between boredom and horror.

This is the way.

Pumpkin spice lattes?

“Let people enjoy things”

No