616
That moment in life
(lemmy.world)
I feel this, 1000%
Nightlight. Use it when you're brushing your teeth too, no bright lights an hour before bed.
One eye open, switch light on, pee.
Switch light off, open opposite eye, go back to bed
No lights at all, sit down to pee, go the fuck back to sleep.
Pro move, don't turn the light on, sit to pee
I do this. Occasionally fall asleep on the toilet. Whatever, mission accomplished.
Super pro move: don't turn the light on, piss all over.
Hyper pro move: wear diaper to bed
Ultra pro move: Master the art of echo location
Double pro move: Get a warm color night light
My bathroom has a small nightlight in it. It's very dim, but just bright enough to pee by with minimal damage to the sleep cycle.
The light in my bathroom is piss-yellow, which I guess also helps because blue light is bad.
Eyes closed. Avoid light. Feel your way to the bathroom. Make sure toilet lid is up (or sit, I’m not judging). Make sure you’re not accidentally in the closet.
Always sit, are you kidding? No way I'm peeing standing up with the lights off.
I broke my ankle a while back and it never healed properly. Since then I've appreciated the relief of sitting to pee.
You must be clumsy as fuck if you managed to break you ankle while you were standing to pee. Either that or your technique is waaaaaaaayyy off.
Heh. I can't tell if this is a deliberate misinterpretation (in which case, pretty funny) or not (seems unlikely).
I broke my ankle taking out some recycling. It was sleeting heavily at the time and I was wearing my wife's flip-flops because I couldn't find my shoes (edit: fun fact, it turned out I had set the recycling on my shoes while looking for them). I slipped and fell off the front porch and my ankle broke when I landed.
I've dislocated my shoulder fourteen times, so I thought the ankle was just dislocated. Based on my experience with my shoulder, I tried to reset the ankle and stand back up ... Twice. I only stopped because my neighbor heard me and came over to investigate; in a twist I wouldn't believe in a movie, he turned out to be a physical therapist who mostly worked with ankles. He was a tremendous comfort because he was able to answer most of my questions while we waited for the ambulance.
The EMTs made me hop down the stairs of my front porch on one foot before they put me on the stretcher. To this day I wonder what they would have done if I'd broken both ankles or been several floors up or something.
I have so many stories about that night. It has shaped my life in one way or another ever since.
Also, even if you don't see it, it splashes everywhere.
That’s why you just pee in the sink
I pee in the shower, harder to miss when drunk.
This does not seem like an effective way to reduce splashing.
But it does get rid of the need to reduce splashing
I disagree.
If there's going to be splashing, I'd very much rather it be around the toilet (which is presumably only going to be used for toilet purposes) than around the sink (which might be used for hygiene purposes as well as maybe filling cups, washing hands, brushing teeth, etc.).
Disagree. The more parallel your stream is to the surface it’s hitting, the less likelihood of a splash. It’s hard to get a good angle in a toilet unless you really try. It’s very easy to do that in a sink at or slightly below dick level.
This is written by someone who a. Is tall enough to piss straight in the sink and b. Is not a grower.
Instructions unclear, am now secretly gay
Well, now your out of the closet.
Just from sitting down to pee once? I knew it
If I did this I'd end up blindly stepping on a giant house spider or one of the many bugs they're supposed to be eating. I have too many critters sneaking into my bathroom
When my mom was pregnant with my eldest sister in Greece, she apparently once headed to the bathroom, only to find a scorpion waiting on the doorknob.
Stepping on a spider seems preferable.
Just pee in bed. Easy solution.
I have mastered this technique to pro level. Now I fall asleep while sitting on the toilet. 🙃
have you ever woken up to your legs having fallen asleep on the toilet?
Oh my, yes. It is the next step to master. Although it is quite the adventure getting back to bed in that state.
Like piloting a gundam for the first time
I accomplish this by keeping a weed pen in the pocket of my robe hanging within reach of the toilet...
RIP your REM cycle
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
616 points (99.2% liked)
Funny: Home of the Haha
5398 readers
2052 users here now
Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.
Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!
Our Rules:
-
Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.
-
No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.
-
Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.
Other Communities:
-
/c/TenForward@lemmy.world - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts
-
/c/Memes@lemmy.world - General memes
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS