[off topic]

Hitler is having a bad day at the office. He goes out to take a stroll. He sees Himmler walking along, giggling to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, mein Fuhrer I just heard the funniest joke."

"I could use a laugh right now, tell it to me."

"Are you kidding? I had to shoot the guy who told it to me."

I had something similar to this happen at a work holiday party.

I was having a chat with one of the sysadmins, and had him absolutely laughing his ass off (very crude, highly nerdy, somewhat intellectual humor - I’m a very niche flavor, and not that funny at all generally, but someone with a good rapport and similar style? Oh man - we were rolling!). This particular sysadmin is known for being a tough nut to crack, not very social, very stoic (basically how I am in social situations), even “weird”, so this drew a ton of attention, and people, including HR, were coming over to ask what was so funny..

Not my company (partner’s) so I’m not about to repeat shit! Plus they probably wouldn’t have understood the context anyway (tho at this point I don’t even remember; it was years ago, I just remember thinking “there’s really no point explaining this, it won’t be funny to them..)

I told a joke in 6th grade (sorry, it involves drawing and is a little Johnny joke, so can't be typed out and be funny). The punchline was good and inappropriate, of course. My teacher overheard and laughed slightly, then said she was sorry, but she had to send me to the vp's office for it.

Naturally, the vp wanted to know the joke, so I asked for paper and busted it out on him. He outright laughed.

He said he wouldn't feel right punishing me after he laughed at my joke and just made me promise to not tell it at school again.

This was in the beforetimes of internet, but you can probably find a version of it somewhere. Good jokes never die. Without ruining the punchline, I'd try searching "little Johnny school drawing mountain horizon". Hopefully the internet hasn't butchered it.

I had a job that placed my office right across the hall from HR. There was only 3 HR people at that site but hundreds of employees. We were pretty friendly with each other. The manager would always have a joke.

One day as we're leaving work on a Friday before a 3 day weekend, she said to me

See you next Tuesday!

I started laughing and she is like what is so funny?

Oh hell no! That was a moment. Let me say. I was like oh, yeah sorry I am never going to explain that to you. Best we forget it.

As I tell my people on the shop floor, I’m not gonna tell on them for shop talk, but I’m not going to say anything at work that I’m afraid to have HR read back to me

Can confirm, HR is a joke.

Shoulda told them that they won't get it cuz it's not for girls' ears. An easy out-of-jail card.

This is so fucking stupid it actually becomes glorious. 😂