I mean, it could be both.

Other than the being enslaved bit.

I reddit, I read, I take hot baths. I just recently got my shit together enough to get my own apartment (I’m 40 and have always lived with others except about 3 years of my life a few months at a time). So I feel like a 20 year old kid out on his own for the first time learning to adult. So lately I’ve spent more free time cleaning and beautifying the apartment. Just little things. Getting together basics like a broom and the right extension cords, that kind of thing.

For the first time in my life I have alone time every day, and that is just incredible. I feel my mind moving and adapting in a way it never has before. I’m getting more interested in longer-term projects.

One of the best things I ever did was stop trying to make up for lost time. I’ve just accepted that the overall arc of my life is delayed, and there will probably be less wealth and success in it than there would be if I’d had the health and financial stability earlier in life.

Just accepting where I’m at, allowing myself to be excited about my first adult apartment that’s mine, taking satisfaction in improving my routines and habits a little each day, has led to this feeling of joy that just comes oozing up around me more and more often.

I used to have big dreams, and accomplished nothing. Now I have little dreams, and accomplish a little. Really it feels like having no-slip traction. It doesn’t really matter how fast the wheels are spinning if there’s no traction. And you’ll never get traction by going faster.