711
My hero (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Kaiyoto@lemmy.world to c/witchymemes@lemmy.world

Probably not the first time this has made it's rounds but this was the first time I've seen this story.

Edit: sorry, thought it included the link. https://dailynewsreported.com/positive-affirmations/woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/ I have to shamefully admit I ate the onion

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[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 month ago

🎶 There goes my hero, watch her as she goes.🎶

[-] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 62 points 1 month ago
[-] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
[-] Klear@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Shiny and firefox

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

That face just screams "Do what you must, I've already won".

Awesome

[-] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Exercise this snatch, bitches.

[-] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 month ago

You can also chase them off your property by saying you've been excommunicated, and they'll never come back.

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

No no, what you do is you ask them if they know why the church is making them go door to door. When they say "to spread the word of God" you correct them. "No, they know that going door to door won't get new members of your church because doing so is rude. They want people to get mad at you and treat you poorly so that you run back to your church saying how mean everyone was. That's when they pull YOU in closer. You're being played." It won't save their souls from the cult, but it plants a seed of doubt. And if they go back and tell the church what you said, you'll be put on a list of houses to not return to.

[-] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Considering that's not the term they use, it would not be very effective. They would know you're lying.

[-] Kbobabob@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago

Since you didn't actually provide a good response, it's called disfellowshipped.

[-] argarath@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Thank you!!!! I just need to figure out their term in Portuguese now and I'll be golden here in Brazil and when I finally move in with my BFs in the USA

[-] jdr@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

desassociação

As an organization that's all about missionary work, they predictably very good with having a translation for everything to every language.

e.g. https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/w20150415/disfellowshipping-a-loving-provision/

[-] argarath@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Thank you very much!!! That is incredibly helpful!! Now I'm actually excited for the next time they come knocking! Shame I didn't know this last sunday when they passed by my house, but now I know!!

[-] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

It's actually dishonorably dismounted.

[-] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Still won't work. It's just not worth trying to remember it, and thus not worth mentioning the term.

It's more nuanced than that. You can't be disfellowshipped unless you were baptized as a JW, which you can tell if someone was or not. That's just not something you can easily lie about. At best you can say you were "disassociated", but that's not worth that either.

You're better off just saying "put me on your do not call list" than trying to come up with a lie like that.

[-] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

Thank you! My old coworkers were all JW, but I forgot the word and used the protestant equivalent.

[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Or you were so bad of a practitioner that you didn't even bother to learn what it was called

[-] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 month ago

Is that a mug shot? She was arrested for being the hero we all need?

[-] Donut@leminal.space 27 points 1 month ago

No, it's not real. The original source is a satirical news site. Sorry friends.

[-] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

The original source is a satirical news site

Well, that would have been nice to know! LOL The screenshot and post gives no context of where this story came from.

[-] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Oh shit, you're right. I thought it included the link but I fucking ate the onion :(

[-] Kaiyoto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Oh shit, you're right. I though I included the link. I ate the onion :(

[-] FLP22012005@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago
[-] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago

Public indecency, I'm guessing. Some people have a stick up their arse about nudity, which is decidedly on the unpleasant side of the butt fun scale.

[-] 01011@monero.town 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I answered the door naked once (I was enroute to the shower), they haven't bothered me since.

[-] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Had a friend who did that after getting out of shower one morning. He was headed to bed after a twelve hour shift and they had woke him up three Saturdays in a row. He was 5'8'' and around 160 pounds but we called him Big Ed. Guess why?

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I'm guessing he had big teeth? /s

[-] yemmly@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Give her a medal.

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

remember that no matter how crazy you are, there are crazier

[-] doingthestuff@lemmy.world -2 points 1 month ago

My dad's brother just kept answering the door naked and they stopped coming back. Her devil vagina magic might have worked if she was cute.

this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
711 points (96.8% liked)

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