497
Soulmate rule (slrpnk.net)
top 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 122 points 4 months ago

Girls don’t break wind, they shatter it, and that’s why they’re breathtaking. That’s what my grandfather always used to say, until my grandmother stabbed him to death during a mental episode. Would have been funny if she suffocated him, but she didn’t seem to consider my need for irony

[-] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 47 points 4 months ago

This was not a comment I expected to read on this post

[-] whaleross@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Still a better love story than Twilight.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago

I hope it's because she ate an onion-heavy dish🥰

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 4 months ago
[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Onions are good AND good for you! Sure, they fuel a low-to-medium risk biological agent when digested in sufficient quantities, but it's still better than eggy farts!:)))

[-] zealshock@slrpnk.net 27 points 4 months ago

I wish she would come and fart in my bed instead

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 4 months ago

I knew he was the one when we started laughing at eachother's nighttime farts.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

My girlfriend said she knew when I opened the shower curtain and used my dick as a catapult to launch water at her.

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 months ago

Relationship goals

[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

Like hell I’m going to let the girl of my dreams outfart me. The bedroom is going to be a hazmat crisis before I relent!

[-] bownage@beehaw.org 17 points 4 months ago

One time my wife farted herself awake, you can't not laugh at that

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 16 points 4 months ago

And that's fine.

[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 16 points 4 months ago

Farting *then lifting the edge of the duvet for a quick huff

[-] proper@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

you’d be noseblind after a while so go for it

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

I have a deviated septum and therefore almost no effective sense of smell.

I have it on good authority that those around me have taken advantage of this on many occasions.

[-] aeharding@vger.social 9 points 4 months ago

The girl of my dreams doesn’t know how to remove oligosaccharides making food 🤔

[-] socsa@piefed.social 8 points 4 months ago

I can fix her

[-] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 7 points 4 months ago

I would be as well, but I have to settle for farting at work at this moment.

this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
497 points (98.4% liked)

196

17460 readers
901 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.


Rule: You must post before you leave.



Other rules

Behavior rules:

Posting rules:

NSFW: NSFW content is permitted but it must be tagged and have content warnings. Anything that doesn't adhere to this will be removed. Content warnings should be added like: [penis], [explicit description of sex]. Non-sexualized breasts of any gender are not considered inappropriate and therefore do not need to be blurred/tagged.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact us on our matrix channel or email.

Other 196's:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS