cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/28090390
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/35018512
Far more than c/mildlyinfuriating
Funny how this is supposed to be absurd - upside down duck, cake, “bizarro” and all - but it’s actually pretty accurate. So many products out there that require you to download their shitty spyware in order to do the things they are supposed to do.
Just 9.99 per month
Until the company shuts down its servers and your toilet stops working.
And that'd be "only" a toilet. People out there euphorically buying cars like that.
Most people are idiots. You cannot change my mind.
And it goes down mid-use, and the toilet has tamper-proofing that stops you from emptying it any other way "for security".
For the basic plan, based on usage though it looks like you'd save more with our premium tier that allows unlimited flushes per day and includes our smellfesh scent subscription.
The Japanese have already perfected smart toilets. There is no app, but there are loads of buttons, including for a heated seat and some music or ambient sounds to help you relax and disguise unpleasant noises.
What about a little fountain spritz of lit up water like in that one Simpsons episode?
But don't you see the benefit - the data on your flushes helps our Trusted~†~ FlushMe Partners ® provide more relevant service to you, and also helps us partially offset the cost of our running our flush servers, allowing us to provide service to you for only $29.99 monthly~††~!
†: All FlushMe partners have undergone creditworthiness checks. ††: Limited time one month introductory offer. FlushMe may, but is not required to, provide you with a personalised monthly price for renewal of the service.
"FlushMe: Have You Shat Today!?"
Don't worry. I'm on a streak. If I keep it going for 30 days I will unlock the flushing feature without having to pay for premium.
Not just download the app, but sign up for an account (and the newsletter in the process).
Then grant permissions to your phone:
Don't forget all the health and biometric data, last used app, and Facebook access
too many household appliances need an app
I laughed a lot when I saw this and I sent it to my parent who laughed too. This is my parents house right now. They want buttons for their lamps but they were forced to get an app for most of them and had to fight the company to put in buttons. They also got a ventilation system without buttons and they could not get buttons except if they payed for a very expensive hub, so they went for the app. But only one person can be connected at a time and you have to unpair before someone else can pair, so the app act as if it is the hub.. it is very strange
Set up Home Assistant on a Pi or something for them. It can likely control everything from a central app
My parents had a house built a couple of years ago and it's the same with them. It's real hard for me to say "I told you so" like every time I go over there and see them fighting with some app bullshit on one of their appliances. It pisses me off so much because there was nothing wrong with their old house and now I'm going to be stuck inheriting the new one that's worse in every way. Probably right around the time all the cut corners in the construction start coming out as the place falls apart.
I'd love to inherit a house even if it had no appliances and was falling apart...
What happens when the company goes out of business? You no longer can flush?
Precisely
As long as they can convince their shareholders this will eventually make money and you buy into their eventual $30/flush subscription they won't have to go out of business
Free trial exhausted. Subscribe now to keep using server infrastructure. After all, all you bought was the toilet, you can't expect the server space for free.
Triple Flush Achievement Unlocked! Share with your friends?
Shares with all of your contacts by default. Also includes a sales pitch to each of them to sign up as well
Enshitification intensifies.
Funnily enough, my toilet has it's own app.("Japanese style" shower toilet by a German company)
It's non-cloud, Bluetooth only, all functions work without it,but it tells you when preventative maintenance is due and enables you to configure the user profiles easier.
So there's that.
Wouldn't have bought it otherwise.
People who greenlight these apps never heard of the cylons.
It tracks the quality of your shits, draws a graph of the daily amount that you can share on social media and recommends a list of sponsored foods depending on your needs.
You jest but that's literally already a thing that exists and you can buy it!
I know you're joking but a toilet that analyzes your stool would be quite remarkable health monitoring device to go along with our smartwatches and stuff. I bet there's loads of health markers you could see from it.
NOOO!!! This is the Torment Nexus of toilets... now some company is going to do this...
Some company surely already done this.
What a shitty idea.
Is nobody gonna mention the blueberry pie sitting in the middle of the hallway?
The remote bidet feature could be fun at parties!
In an alternate universe where /c/shitpost is a place where users share images of their latest bowel movement.
I'm pretty sure there actually was a community like that on Reddit.
Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that. Please post actually infuriating posts to !actually_infuriating@lemmy.world
I want my day mildly ruined, not completely ruined. Please remember to refrain from reposting old content. If you post a post from reddit it is good practice to include a link and credit the OP. I'm not about stealing content!
It's just good to get something in this website for casual viewing whilst refreshing original content is added overtime.
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means: -No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
7. Content should match the theme of this community.
-Content should be Mildly infuriating. If your post better fits !Actually_Infuriating put it there.
-The Community !actuallyinfuriating has been born so that's where you should post the big stuff.
...
8. Reposting of Reddit content is permitted, try to credit the OC.
-Please consider crediting the OC when reposting content. A name of the user or a link to the original post is sufficient.
...
...
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
Reach out to LillianVS for inclusion on the sidebar.
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules.