How low-tech is still tech?

I want a device that can be armed and if moved without being disarmed (optional passcode) will set off an alarm.

This is both for my laptop when working in public spaces and for my cooler/food bag when camping.

I'd like a way to disable all the various way too bright indicator lights.

A SEGA Dreamcast

Is a truck tech? Fuck it I'm calling a pickup truck tech.

I just want a pickup the size of a 90s ford ranger that's a hybrid. Since I'm making it a unicorn, lets go 4wd

Water bottle that auto seals and is easy to clean.

A Steam Deck with stock pricing in Mexico.

A laptop with trackpad buttons

Lenovo is the only one I can find, and they're above the pad for the nub

I need an ecmascript library that demuxes mpeg when fed individual frames. Every lib just wants to take in a whole file or URL to a stream. I need to filter the websocket sending the data so I need to feed individual frames to the lib. I'm only finding commonjs libs that do this

Folding screen eReader....it would be extremely niche, but I want it

Recently heard about RePebble, so my complaining about smart watches may have to end

A small android smartphone with good software support

An app like Shazam but that shows me : this is the song you played and these are the songs it reminds you of because the melody is from here and the vocals melody is from here etc. I am mad that every other song reminds me of another but I cannot check which one it is.

A phone that runs Linux, has decent battery life, and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Data cassettes using current LTO tech, but in standard compact cassette format

dick sucking robot

A way to easily remove dust and debris without busting open the tower

An drone that act as an ambrella