I can't say it without getting my comment removed for inciting violence.

1. Anything more than hushed conversation is banned on public transit (exceptions for children too little to be able to control it, developmentally disabled, etc.). You may answer the phone, quietly, to tell the person you cannot talk right this second and will phone them back from the next station
2. Everywhere is accessible to the blind, those in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc.
3. You will grow some of your own food as your space allows. If you have a tiny flat with one window? Grow some herbs or chives or something? Gotta big lawn? Now you have a garden. Those with small children will be left some room for them to play.
4. Everyone wanting a driving license must drive a giant, slow truck and a small motorbike for several weeks. The tests everywhere in the US get harder and more demanding.
5. You must use public transport in any case it is possible and practical (i.e I don't expect you to try to take your haul from Ikea back on a train).
6. You will generally only eat two meals a day and no more gluten (sorry; I didn't want to inflict this on you nor did I want the gluten restriction on myself, but this is the only way my body works somewhat properly).
7. Your mind's eye and any audible inner monologue are now gone. It's fine; enjoy the imagination and peace.
8. You must live somewhere on roughly the other side of the planet from where you grew up (again, sorry to force you)
9. You must live in at least one foreign country for no less than 3 months outside of a foreigner community and learn the language and culture (not at all sorry about this one).
10. You must be in pain a lot of the time without docs being able to find anything useful. You must also have anxiety, ADHD, probable ASD, and overthink many things.

I tried to answer the actual question rather than how I think things should be. I'm sure I'm missing something about my life. I guess you'd all have to work as software engineers who run a small farm most of the year, strictly speaking.

Pouring cereal before the milk.

I'm right-handed when using one handed tools and "left-handed" when using two handed tools like axes and shovels. The hand closer to the tool bit (the left hand in my case) is only there to provide support and slide around as the other hand controls the orientation and motion of the tool.

I declare my way is truly right-handed while these right-hand-in-front-of-the-left-handers are just ambidextrous pretenders

All calculators are RPN.

Many of your major tech services are self-hosted.

Serving bacon with sweet things. No more bacon-honey-maple-cinnamon whatever. I have spoken.

Auto > Light/Dark mode

Smoking joints is now illegal. Everyone must use a battery-free vaporiser.

Car bad.

YYYY/MM/DD or riot. 24H time or public execution.

I use Arch btw

Pirate everything.

Pink lemonade is better than regular.

Ramen is made with the flavour packet first, then boiling the noodles in the already-made broth.

The confirm button on a controller goes on the right. Cancel is bottom. Nintendo layout supremacy, fuck you.

You will pet every dog you see without hesitation, even if they growl at you. The tax must be paid.

Trackpad > Mouse

Caffeine is now illegal. Force yourself to stay awake and make it everyone else's problem for enforcing stupid work hours.

Everything, but in too many small ways for me to list. You just keep going, and I'll let you know when you mess up.

Fork in the strong hand, knife in the other.

I thought of this while pre-cutting the base of a plastic bottle cap with a knife so that, when I unscrew it, it comes off cleanly - like they used to - without sticking to the bottle or leaving behind sharp, poking bits. This is a thing in the EU nowdays, and obviously, this is the correct way to open them from now on.

Toilet paper forever more goes under. Suck it.

The right way to hold wasd while gaming is now the same as when typing. It's objectively worse but I can't change now.

Pointless/Potentially Petty:

• You must always try to end going up/down stairs on your left foot. Left foot is king compared to the right foot, so it always lands flat when walking, whereas right foot lands on the heal and goes down.

• Games featuring anthro animals (think Sonic, Ratchet and Clank, or Brok the Investigator) are now games people will definitely be on the lookout for because anthro animal characters are amazing most of the time and I love anthro characters, as a furry.

• People will start self-censoring at the very least big tech company names like amaz•n or g••gle or fakebook or ex-twatter.

• "etc" or "etc." dies to using etcetera. I just like it better that way as a personal preference.

Less Minor:

• Everyone gets to suffer trying to self-diagnose and fix their computer issues before going straight to IT. If I had to suffer nearly a week of staying after college courses in the library for a few hours trying to get Proton VPN (unsuccessfully) to work on my Linux running laptop before deciding to send an issue report, the rest of the world gets to try being their own IT for a little bit.

• Folders Folders Folders! Most every file of yours on your phone, desktop, laptop, etcetera, are organized into folders and subfolders. Don't care if you wanna call them that or directories/subdirectories, but keep stuff at least somewhere organized. Especially music. Your music folder will be broken down by whoever the band is, what the singer is, what show it's from, whatever, just so long as it's fairly neatly organized, assuming you have music stored on your device.

• When it comes to cooking, it's okay not to always measure everything out exactly if you are just cooking at home for friends or family. So long as you have enough for everyone, it's okay not to be super precise, unlike with baking. Also, wooden spoons without round handles are completely banned for life. I hate them with a passion compared to rounded handled wooden spoons because I can't rub the handle to mix if it ain't round.