The ass/taint/balls combo get a good patting down, then if I have time I'll stand over a box fan for the ultimate dry.

I hate threads like this because it always reveals how many nasty motherfuckers there are in society.

You use the edges for the balls exclusively

This tweet lives rent free in my head, often does the phrase "The towel forgets" pop into my brain.

I just shake my balls dry

....also, you've just stepped out of the shower 35 seconds earlier.

Pure truth.

Towels change when they smell

Plebs using towels? What is this? Caveman times?

My sexy robot servants blow me.

Finally, I can share my method.

1. Start with the side of the towel that has the tag. Hold the towel so the tag is facing away from you (critical to a later step!)
2. Dry hair with the top, then face in the next section down, followed by chest.
3. Left arm is dried with the left side of the next section, right arm with the right side. At this point you should be about half way down the towel.
4. Dry balls with the next section.
5. Legs are next with the remaining section of the towel.
6. Flip and dry the back and butt.

I got tired of finding head hair in my underwear so this method keeps the head drying section quite a bit away from the ball section, and keeps the ass drying away from hands arms, chest, face etc.

All you gotta do is follow the law, the law of gravity. Start at the top and work your way down.

Www.youtube.com/watch?v=T58D467HagM

But but guys if the cloth touches both your balls and your face then YOUR GAAAAYYYYY

And soap is ablative

I use the center of the towel for the face, the ends for bottom half of my body and a separate one for hands outside of bathtime.

In all seriousness I wash myself with a exfiltrating scrub and clean enough where it doesn't matter how I dry myself.