258
immortal (i0.wp.com)
submitted 4 days ago by ooli2@lemm.ee to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
top 11 comments
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[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago

"Immortality comes at a terrible price. You think you know what dick chafing feels like. I haven't had skin on my shaft for the last two centuries."

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

That's a shock. And although changing my behavior won't be easy, I am DETERMINED to avoid anything that might make me live longer.

[-] cm0002@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

Just 3263? Pfft amateur, those are ROOKIE numbers

[-] Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Fuck. I'm only at three a day....

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 3 days ago

Twice a day and you start aging backwards.

[-] jenni007@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Just for clarification: does it mean masturbating more than once a week increases life expectancy or masturbating less than three times increases life expectancy? The way it is written now could easily be misinterpreted, I’m unsure I’m doing the right thing.

10 percent per throw, calculating.

[-] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 3 points 3 days ago

Do it, just to be safe :p

[-] JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 7 points 4 days ago

this is beetle. he's as bad as can and he knows he's the best.

he's big, and he's strong, and he knows he's badder, and he knows what he gets. he knows what he knows, and he knows what he has, and he knows what he gets, he gets better. he's a tough guy, and he knows, he knows the best, I guess.

[-] Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Just hanging round....

[-] StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

*sighs* If I must...

this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
258 points (97.1% liked)

Funny

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