I guess the lesson is, if you're gonna steal a canoe and don't know how to swim, steal a life vest, too.

You’d have thought he’d have floated, what with having such light fingers.

It is sad that someone died, of course, but I don't think 'poor git'. I think ' don't steal shit that isn't yours, particularly canoes if you intend to use them and can't swim'.

Moron.