But... Then how will I get the poowater on my balls?

Wow, you're right. German really is amazing!

mittens = Faustschuhe => fist shoes

hat = Kopfschuh => head shoe

glasses = Augenschuhe => eye shoes

earrings = Ohrschuhe => ear shoes

mask = Gesichtsschuh => face shoe

bra = Brustschuhe => breast shoes

shirt = Rumpfschuh => torso shoe

pants = Beinschuhe => leg shoes

helmet = Gehirnschuh => brain shoe

diaper = Babyschambereichschuh => baby shame-area shoe

I'll have you know that the history of 'gloves' in English goes back long before the Norman conquest; the roots in English are neither from French nor Latin.

What I really want to know is if shoes in German are called 'fußglof'?

If you say, 'yes', then I really will be jealous. I want a foot glove...