Listen men, it's ok to ask for a hug. You don't have to dress like a snake and wiggle your butt down main street unless it's dress-like-a-snake-and-wiggle-yo-ass day and that's in April. See you there!

How do I know he's immortal? Well when he was 3 we lived in LA. My commute was 1.5 hrs each way with a stop in Downtown for my wife. I drove a Jeep wrangler, mostly in bumper to bumper traffic. Well one day he decided to follow me out the door and sneak into the engine compartment. I had no idea. Drove to work with the stop in between. Luckily I parked somewhere covered when I got to work and stayed at the office for lunch.

Later I left and picked up my wife and was almost home when I hear meowing. I thought some stray got in there while my car was parked at work. Instead of stopping on the side of the road and risking it running into traffic we went all the way home. Jump out of the jeep and open the hood to see Orion, poking his head up and panting but unharmed. He saw where he was and ran for the house. If anything happened that day I would have thought he vanished in thin air. Why do they have to toy with us like that :D

I thought the deal I got on my KuKluxKlean was too good to be true!

Those tariffs did exactly what they were supposed to do. Push smaller competitors out of the market and allow price increases from the bigger companies. Even with those tariffs the price from China was still much cheaper, all he did was ramp up inflation. Literally no one won.

They had to. It's far too dangerous for him to be near actual water. If his diaper gets too saturated it will drag him under.

It's gotta be a low bar. Just don't believe in 19th century health conspiracies. You had to have been dropped constantly as a baby to believe vaccines are dangerous.

Are they going to require government monitors if you own a CNC machine next?

My business partner in his previous job went into the office early one day and found one of his coworkers jacking off in his cubicle. Guess he'd been doing it for years, showing up before everyone and jerking it in a different place every time. That company he worked for: Boeing. They were engineers and they developed the predator drones.

Why IVF and not cancer?

When "keeping it real" goes wrong.

I remember when Leica released their first digital full frame camera. I was excited cause I had a m4 that I used for a decade with a bunch of lenses. Searching thru estate sale after sale to compile them. The M9 came out on 9/9/9 and I was on vacation in Tokyo at the same time. figured if I waited a few years I could get a used one maybe.

So my wife and I went to the Leica store to look at it on the release day. When we went in there I chatted the guys up and they told me a preorder fell thru and gave me an opportunity to buy it. I wasn't even really considering it when my wife told them we will take it. I had half the money and she gave me the other half. I got to spend the rest of that week taking photos in Japan with my digital Leica instead of my film one. Traveled all around the world with that camera. It was the most expensive thing besides a car and house I've ever bought.