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Happy Birthday (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] SilentObserver@lemm.ee 102 points 3 weeks ago

2022 years ago? So this must be Christ reincarnated.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 67 points 3 weeks ago

No no. Jesus was born on 0AD. This kid was born on 2AD. Jesus would have been 2 years old, so he hadn't yet died.

Whats more concerning, is this is being posted by one of the kids parents. Which means THEY were born sometime in BCE. Which means they were alive and old enough to have kids when Jesus was born.

WHY ARE THEY NOT REVEALING THEIR TRICKS OF IMMORTALITY????

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

[-] boonhet@lemm.ee 16 points 3 weeks ago

I thought Jesus was born a few years after his official birth year though?

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

About 34 years later, yeah. But it was also 40 days after his death. Making Jesus a zombie. Or, alternatively, it makes religion as a whole self admitted bullshit. Your call, christians.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago

There are other options besides those two, like not having accurate historical records to know the actual date of birth and death, so that there are lots of conflicting accounts.

I agree that religion in general is a crock used by charlatans to control people.
But I suspect that this isn't the gotcha you think it is, especially because I don't think that the precise dates really matter to the religion.

[-] Archer@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

What? No, Jesus was a Lich

[-] blackris@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 3 weeks ago

A small correction and „fun fact“: there is no year zero. 1 BC is followed by 1 AD. Consequently things like the turn of the millennium happen a year after we celebrate them. But people found that weird.

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like that just means 0 AD = 1 BC rather than there not being a 0 AD. Could have -1000 AD, too.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

that's ISO. if you're putting the AD, 0 is not valid. the BC is specifically there because -AD isn't a thing.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 weeks ago

The disturbing answer to both of your questions is drinking blood of children keeps you young. It's all about adrenochrome and you can but shouldn't google it

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

So THAT'S why republicans want to ban abortion, and why mitch mcconnell just WON'T die already.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

"We will raise your kid", sure you will "raise" them

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Raise them right into their mouth.

[-] Aedis@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Raise as in how you raise a wine glass to drink from it afterwards.

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 0 points 3 weeks ago

adrenochrome

Several small-scale studies (involving 15 or fewer test subjects) conducted in the 1950s and 1960s reported that adrenochrome triggered psychotic reactions such as thought disorder and derealization

Interesting. This is probably what makes people, who would normally not kill or do other horrible acts, to do so in conditions of extreme distress and then later have a feeling of it never have actually happened, making them still be able to live life with about the same personality as before.

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

It's long debunked and today a conspiracy theory

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Well, it does say "15 or fewer subjects".

So, not much of an expectation

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

And also, why are they threatening their kids life?

Probably some Biblical mumbo-jumbo.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I've never seen a post with zero upvotes.....did you un-upvote your own post???

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 0 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yes, that's possible to do.

You can even downvote your own post. Like here

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 80 points 3 weeks ago

Damn. That kid is fucking oooooold!

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 97 points 3 weeks ago

His days are numbered, though.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 3 weeks ago

I mean, if he's 2022 years old he probably doesn't have much time left. 💔

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 0 points 3 weeks ago

That's a pretty big number, though.

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 30 points 3 weeks ago

He looks so young for his age.

[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

He doesn't look a day past 80

[-] Blackout@fedia.io 50 points 3 weeks ago

When you're least expecting it... I will be there. Watch your back... for the tickle monster. And his knife... of love

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like a detective Pimento quote

[-] tyler@programming.dev 38 points 3 weeks ago

Might not be a native English speaker.

[-] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

I am fairly certain math and time are well understood concepts in non- English speaking cultures

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Idioms and phrasing in English are not.

What's the literal meaning of "his days are numbered"?

[-] nickiwest@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

There are multiple references to this in the Bible. This is the most uplifting one I found.

Psalm 90

10 Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 If only we knew the power of your anger! Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.

12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

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[-] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

I believe that's a threat sandwich.

[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Poor boy, in addiction to have a questionable reasoning father now he’s on Lemmyshitpost and who knows where else. That adds up to the senile problems

[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago
[-] AutomaticUpdates@monero.town 16 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Rolando@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Chazz : Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy : Did you just say mind-bottling?

Chazz : Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Plus his father his making not so veiled treaths to his life.

[-] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Don’t know, I’m just counting someone days

[-] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 3 weeks ago
[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago
[-] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

2+0-2+2 - checks out.

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this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
434 points (95.0% liked)

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