I played FTB in its glory days. Not sure what's good now, but I miss Thaumcraft and Xycraft.
I bought Minecraft on an impulse. I'd heard people talking about it but didn't know much. Looked it up, and it was going to enter Beta in twenty minutes. Bought it on the spot, installed it the next morning, have logged untold thousands of hours ever since.
You might find something like that in the Wheel of Time books. It's been a long time since I read them, but there's a lot of very strong women in those books and only a few of them have a hard time being gentle and compassionate when the situation allows.
Same as OP. Yarvinists must rot, but there I go using their stuff again anyway.
Get the mental health services for now. It'll probably help you stay more stable for the difficult planning and decisions that may need to be done. I don't think the labor camps will pop up suddenly enough to ambush many people. You aren't as cornered as you feel right now. Figure out your exit plan, figure out your threshold for when to run, and try to live your life and/or resist in the meantime. There are lots of beautiful places to run if you're willing to learn a new language. Spend some time reading about immigration laws so you'll know what to do. It's a little less scary when you know the plan in detail.