The best Zelda games leave the details intentionally vague so that the player can fill them in based on the weird side quests and cryptic hints to the past woven into the environments. I'm sure someone could find a creative way to capture the emotional journey on film but I am equally sure it will not happen.

They tied my dad's balls to his chin for this?

Once you reach this age you have to stop internalizing that embarrassment. Is some old person talking about rizzing up their wife mad cringe? Yeah, but only for the young people who have to hear it.

I will take them. My apartment's pest control just took out my favorite outdoor colony.

I'm down to a single loving wife who's not very good at video games.

It's not our fault you married a casual.

And I'm with her so by extension it is my turn, too.

It's definitely a red flag, but it's the kind that someone waves in front of me to get my attention. I like it.

Should I quit my job because they're making me go back? I don't have something else lined up but I don't give a shit. I have savings. Not a lot, but I can get by for a while. I just can't deal with this bullshit for for another single second.

It's been a rough week. We all need this right now.

Counterpoint: they are cool.

I don't know whether that's your personal narrative or a more widespread piece of the blåhaj canon, but I really like the interpretation either way. I was going to make some cynical comment about consumption as identity, but that sort of misses the mark by erasing the personal stories that people have attached to the blåhaj as a symbol. I appreciate you sharing.

I lived in tobacco country for a time and I feel you on that diner food.