The slightly more bulbous wings on the 360 controller actually do a lot for ergonomics, but it's very hand-sized based. For me, the 360 is almost perfect in how the wings tuck into my palms. With the controller about 6 or so inches in front of me, my arms are at a natural angle with wrists straight and the controller is securely held without even a finger on it, and I can press any button without even having to brace it. Take even a little of those wings away, and that gets lost, and edges instead of the smooth roundness get annoying. My partner on the other hand, would need a smaller controller to get that same feel or to cross-thumb the dpad as easily as I do. As much as I originally preferred the symmetry of the playstation layout, I have to give the nod to the xbox layout for being able to dpad with the right thumb.
We desperately need controller makers to stop acting like controllers are one size fits all, when that's not even close to true.
Get a controller with underside buttons. I also consider stick-clicks an abomination, but it's great now that there are under-buttons we can hard-remap to L3 and R3.
8BitDo Ultimate Bluetooth controller has some awful ergonomics on several things, but the underbuttons are excellent examples.