Reality never decouples, it's just always relative but our usual point of views are similar enoug that we typically ignore the difference. Time will fly slightly faster for an astronaut on the ISS, but we're talking nanosecond differences over long periods.
From your POV, you fall into the black hole and that's it. From an external observer's POV, they see you falling slower and slower until you appear to stop at the event horizon then redshift to disappearance. The EH is just the description of the boundary where gravity becomes great enough that nothing can escape it.
I donate a bunch of things on Marketplace (mostly baby/kids' clothes and toys the kids outgrew). I also give to the local food banks and food drives whenever I can and think about it. If you're specifically asking about money, I give to, and last summer fundraised for, Muscular Dystrophy Canada.