In a stunning turn of events, local small business owners have once again taken to complaining about dump pointless bullshit again. According to sources close to the situation, the business owners have been griping about everything from the weather to the price of coffee, with seemingly no end in sight.

The complaints reportedly began early this morning, when one business owner took issue with the placement of a nearby trash can, claiming it was hurting foot traffic to his store. Another owner chimed in with concerns about the length of a nearby crosswalk, saying it was causing undue stress for her customers.

As the day wore on, the complaints continued to pour in, with one business owner even going so far as to complain about the angle of the sun in the sky.

Our reporters rushed to the scene to get the latest developments.

"Even though we are usually not the most affected stakeholders in really any situation, the fact that we are by far the most important members of the community entirely justifies the over-the-top media attention that we receive basically all of the fucking time" said one local small business owner. They went on to complain about how the newly installed bicycle lanes are destroying the very fabric of the city that they once loved.

Stunningly, not all residents feel sympathy with the incessant whining from the small business community who won't shut the fuck up for five god damned minutes about their pointless dumb bullshit.

"It's like they're just looking for things to complain about at this point," said one exasperated onlooker. "I mean, sure, we all have our bad days, but these guys take it to a whole new level."

"It's just ridiculous," said another witness to the spectacle. "I mean, these people are running successful businesses, but they still find time to whine about the most mundane things imaginable."

At press time, it was unclear whether the small business owners planned to continue their never-ending stream of complaints, or if they might eventually tire of their own nonsense and focus on more pressing matters and contribute to their communities in meaningful ways rather than paying their employees poverty wages and still complaining about how much payroll costs.

Only time will tell.

:gigachad: