A good minimalist text based launcher that's open source is Olauncher. Maybe not what you're after (comparing it to Smart Launcher) but thought I'd suggest it just in case.

And yet, it's still the right answer

I've been trying for weeks to get friends to move to Signal. They don't have to delete WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger to use Signal. Some of these people have got degrees in various computer disciplines and still won't even give it a try. I don't understand the reluctance to try new software either. If their job or uni asks them to use a piece of software they'll try it no bother but if a friend asks it's impossible. It's so strange.

And the aliens definitely aren't allegory for capitalists

Not sure if typo or form of attack...