65
Can't tell if getting old or just have a poor diet but I went to innocently fart just now and well...I didn't fart.
(hexbear.net)
This is like the 3 time I've shit myself on accident this year, every time it happens I go to fart and push a little too hard and soil myself. 
now it has me worried I'm dying.
praying for you and your underwear comrade...please try gently releasing your sphincter the next time you fart instead of going into fifth gear immediately so that you may have time to clench before the levee breaks and thus avoid having to wash your underwear
All my life I wasted so much time and energy on washing my underwear, I didn't know you were only supposed to wash them when you shit yourself? God damn this is life changing
i knew someone would say something like this....never said you were ONLY supposed to wash your underwear when you shit yourself - but surely if you do shit yourself, you're not tossing your shitty underwear on the top of your laundry pile and letting it sit until you do your weekly load - god damn i know it smell crazy where you live