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[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 85 points 2 weeks ago

Did he hear him described as a "John Doe" without having that term explained to him?

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 63 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, man. I hope this happens at a press conference....

"...And so we know his name. I will share it with you. His name is John Doe."

There's a pregnant pause the reporters look perplexed. An enterprising reporter way in the back yells "HIS NAME IS LITERALLY JOHN DOE?!"

The mayor gets mad at being yelled at. "What did I just say? You heard me. His name is John Doe..." The mayor continues to berate the "fifth-rate alt media hack in the back".

Another clever reporter furiously checked Wikipedia for an easy way to reach the mayor's muddled mind. Before he starts his next sentence - she sort of yells at him: "Wikipedia says that 'John Doe is a placeholder names when the true name of a person is unknown or is being intentionally concealed.' Is this John Doe actually named John Doe? For real?"

The mayor is about to lecture her too but stops himself and is clearly befuddled. "John Doe is... It's... His name... John Doe is..." Clears throat. "John Doe is his code name that we in law enforcement are using..."

[-] dsilverz@thelemmy.club 22 points 2 weeks ago

“…And so we know his name. I will share it with you. His name is John Doe.”

A better version:

“…And so we know his name. We worked tirelessly to identify him, yeah, we did, believe me, as I will share his name with you. His name is... uh... [check notes]... John... John Doe.”

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

I liked the other more, making this a worse version

[-] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

is there a version of you with a different opinion?

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Without a doubt, but they're not online right now. I'll leacve you unread so they can see you

[-] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago
[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

that's what your mom said last night

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago

She should really switch to PostgreSQL

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

I like them both.

  • centrist bureaucrat who just wants everyone to have a good time
[-] Cammy@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

The last sentence ends this beautiful flash fiction with such a good punchline. chefs-kiss

this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
124 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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