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Gay men can train as priests but must be celibate, say Italian bishops
(www.theguardian.com)
Rules:
Other communities of interest:
Sounds like you're a bit on the ace spectrum. Nothing wrong with that, but yes, most people find celibacy difficult.
For this topic, I think there's an extra layer on top of that where it's not just celibacy, it's an active denial of your sexuality, to an extent.