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Its sad and verging on creepy for some of you
(hexbear.net)
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DONT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.
To elaborate for those who are going to "but ackshwally," yes there's some nuance.
If you're in a very large org with different departments, that's different as long as there's not power dynamics. So if you're sales and they're part of quality assurance, ok, fine. Be normal ask them out and move on. Don't carry a torch, that's the one way to really make what could otherwise be a very normal interaction weird.
Don't date your boss, don't date your subordinate, don't date your peers in your part of the office. If you absolutely have to, then BE NORMAL and just ask them out to get over it quickly and remember that the longer and weirder you make it the more likely you could lose your job in a worst case.
You're not Jim and Pam in some slow burn romance. Crushes are for people under the age of 18 (in which case, all the not having sex with coworkers goes out the window if it's not a real job. The amount of kids who hooked up at the pizza place I worked at... It was high).
To spell it out: you're going to have to maintain a professional relationship with this person if they're not interested OR if you break up. Is it worth it? There are probably many people out there you're compatible with. Work crushes are inappropriate, especially since they can't just leave (like, say, some person you hit on in a bar or something). They aren't there for romance either, they're there to work.
P.S. I speak from the fact that I'm at least somewhat socially awkward and the very thought of having to see someone who rejected me or dumped me daily was so crushing I fully embraced don't shit where you eat mindset. There have been a few coworkers I found attractive, but I never carried a torch or crushed on them since I would never be able to act on it.
this also isn't universal. i know plenty of femme peeps who dislike being asked out cold by people they barely know, it makes it feel like they can't just Exist and that interest in them is purely based on physical attraction (because again, they hardly know the person), it feels closer to a boundary cross/sex pesty behavior than starting as friends in a low-to-no pressure way for them. different people are - shocker - different!! i'd also argue it's actually less appropriate in the workplace or in organizing because it gives the impression that the ask-outer is just there for that, and particularly in the latter space femmes really do struggle to feel like they can just exist as serious participants.
also completely out of the question for, say, demisexual people as well, simply not how they're wired.
I actually agree on this point. Just flat asking someone out out of the blue can be just as creepy