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Average plant behavior
(lemmy.today)
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this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2025
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I'm really disappointed in the fact that there's never been a carnivorous plant large enough to eat humans right now.
I was going to make a joke about it being Australian and even the plants trying to kill you.
Ah well. There's always jokes about the Quoka Mafia plotting world domination.
Google the Gympie-gympie tree. It won't eat you, but it can kill you, and it will hurt the whole time you are dying!
Given what it does, it eating you might be considered more humane! But no, is the fuck you, I just want to cause pain tree.
Hmmm.
and I thought my friend accidentally using poison ivy as toilet paper was too painful to be funny. (we were on a canoe trip and he jumped off to take a shit, only he forgot the TP, so he grabbed the nearest bunch of plants. Ooops.) (it was awful.) (it only became hilarious after he didn't die.)