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this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Will someone please give me a step-by-step guide on how to make new friends under 60 and have consistent daily "human experiences" outside of a city center?
I'd love to give up my phone and possibly TV... if it everyone else does too so there are other humans to interact with. Society is in a depressing cath-22 of loneliness.
Though it can't be impossible. Group hobbies, sports, etc exist. Just gotta pick one and go to meet ups. But phone is so much easier 🤤
Yeah, my best luck has been with signing up for some kind of weekly thing with a group of strangers.
Kinda doesn't even matter what it is, but the more closely it aligns with your interests and values, the better time you'll have.
Why under 60?
One of my most interesting friends is a retired 68y/o Italian immigrant (we met when he was 62). I met him while cycling up a giant hill week after week. The third or fourth time we saw each other both heading to the same hill we struck up a conversation and started regularly riding together. He was also far better at climbing than I was!
Besides cycling, he had a connection to the local restaurant industry due to his previous career as a wine importer. So our coffee stops were often at places where he knew the staff and more conversations and frindships would arise. After his retirement he had a warehouse full of old wine crates and has started a small business turning those crates into custom furniture that is unbelievably beautiful.
Don't let age be a factor in making friends.
I'm 25 so my experience is a little easier since people my age are looking for friends more actively, but I still think I can provide some advice. I have a huge friend group that I'm very proud of and put a lot of work into developing.
This is seriously great advice!
I have a vague memory of reading an article years ago (can't find it now) about how pre-industeializarion, the average number of people an individual interacted with and knew wa much smaller.
We used to live in small villages. Houses would contain extended families. You'd probably know your neighbors pretty well. You'd know the people you went to church with. It was not uncommon for someone to be born in a village and live their until their death without ever leaving that village.
Whenever I hear people talk about how humans NEED social connection I'm reminded of that. My college graduating class was perhaps more people than several generations of my ancestors interacted with. There's a strong argument that we have hyper-optinizsd socialization today. Constantly connected to dozens of people we know and millions that we don't. Stimulation, novelty, and distraction enough to last more lifetimes than I can imagine.
Perhaps in this modern age, the person most difficult to engage with and the most important, is the self.
I'd be willing to bet those people that never left their village would have had many deep connections within the village and would interact with at least a few people on a daily basis. We may tend to know many more people these days, but the connections tend to be shallow and/or infrequent.
On a lot of days, I speak to 0 people.
I'm 35 and the social circle I had from grade school died off slowly and then fully after covid.
Hobbies! Whatever hobby done eith others or can be done with others. Then just show up constantly. If you aren't social poison in human form, people start talking with you.
I do:
Kickbox
Hiking, but only summer months I hate snow.
Dancing classes and I'm a man. This is a good way to get dates lowkey.
Tabletop board games. I don't go to a store. I live in a small city ~30k I just found a group of like minded nerds on a locals D*scord group and go to their house. Yep. People really do that.
My main hobby is bicycling, which is a great way to meet people. Unfortunately, I really hate bicycling with other people, not to mention the fact that enormous gaggles of cyclists gabbing away and not looking ahead are an absolute menace on bike trails, so I never take advantage of the social aspect.
A lot of people suck though, and it makes sense to avoid those ones.
In the olden days, churches used to be the focal centerpoint of many local cultures, especially in rural areas. "3rd spaces" during our cultural transitions and all of that. (implication: you might need to literally move to find what you seek, or at least travel to a city
Or in the USA it will not be a problem anymore - people will all be forced to work so hard that having time to socialize outside of work or family will not be a concern. #firstworldproblems
There are many guides but this is my guide
Step 1: buy the GMs guide for a ttrpg
Step 2: write a fun premise for a campaign
Step 3: do a little light planning
Step 4: post that you’re lfg
Step 5: play the campaign
Step 6: forget you’re supposed to be playing a ttrpg because you just hang out with your new friends all the time
But what if you don't want to GM?
I keep checking meetup for open games but they're always full. And I live in a decent sized city.
If you don’t actually want to be a GM adjust these steps instead the following way :
2 - write a fun premise for a short 1-4 session adventure. Or maybe just find a prewritten, equally short, adventure.
4 - explain that you are not interested in running a full fledged campaign, but a series of short adventures. Add that you are more than happy to let others step-up and give a shot at GM-ing at some point. Do say it that you want all of this to remain fun and light-hearted ; set expectations accordingly to what you feel able to offer. Obviously, point out that you are a complete beginner at ttrpgs if that is the case.
5 - Give it your best shot but if GM-ing turns out really unbearable before you reach step 6, just say it. “Thanks guys for putting up with me and giving me a chance at GM-ing. I’ve come to realize that I’m just not cut out for this and I’d really appreciate if someone gives it a go for the next adventure. If not, I’m open to other games and activities, or just continue hanging out with you guys because your company has been a lot of fun so far. Unfortunately, I just don’t enjoy being a GM and this has been too painful for me”
You don’t have to be any good at GM-ing if your end goal is just to make friends. And GM-ing a decent enough game doesn’t have to be all that hard or require all that prep.
Of course, this will all require a certain amount of effort, likely more than just joining a game as a player. First try might not to be the right one too. You might not match with all, or any, of the players. But you don’t actually have to, starting a ttrpg with a group of strangers comes with the implication that this might not all work out.
Regrettably, usually if you don’t want to GM, you have to already have friends who do. Especially with the big influx of D&D interest from Stranger Things, every GM I know is completely swamped with players and don’t have any room left at their tables.
If you’re trying to make new friends, especially in-person friends, GM-ing is your best bet. It’s easier than it sounds, I promise. Some ttrpgs are really hard to run, but if it’s too hard for you, you just haven’t found a good system yet. A great starting point is Lady Blackbird because it comes with the adventure, system and characters all-in-one so prep is super simple. If that still seems daunting, there are also a lot of fun one page adventures that are even easier to run, like Trash Pandas. If you feel weird about the “being in charge” part of GM-ing, there are some really good cooperative storytelling games you can play, like The Quiet Year — oftentimes, if you get a good group together to play games like this a few times, a D&D campaign will break out all on its own.
I have experience GMing. It's not particularly difficult but I found it was exhausting, it was almost impossible to get my group to do ANYTHING. Granted they did thoroughly investigate some random coins they found, which I invented a backstory for between sessions. But they immediately forgot about that when it was a new session.
I don't know if I have the patience to go through that again.
I hear you! I’ve had some frustrating groups over the years as well. I mostly came to peace with it when I realized that sitting around a table and chit-chatting idly was a victory, and not a defeat, and that my game is mostly to have something to fill the gap when there’s an awkward silence. If you have some burning story to tell, it’s often not the best format.
Seriously after college work and DnD has been how I've made friends
No, but I'll play some overwatch with you and I'm under 60. Close enough, right?
Check your local game store. Besideall th pokemon and MTG stuff, a lot of them have board game nights.
Also, check around your book/comic shops for book clubs. Comic shop near me has a horror graphic novel club that meets twice a month. I went to my first one last week and am excited to start going more.
And don't be afraid to start something. Go to a bar/coffee shop and set up for an RPG. Open invite, open table. If you run it, you can kind of control the vibe.
I want to add to what others are saying. It's going to be awkward and embarrassing at some point, just accept that going in. Most everyone feels awkward and embarrassed in brand new situations or maybe even a couple weeks in. Some people rise above it, be that one that gulps it down and keeps going.