159

Imagine being a monarchist and this is Your Guy (hexbear.net)

submitted 13 hours ago by BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

74 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 43 points 13 hours ago

custom velvet toilet paper

pause. wtf does that even mean? is he wiping his ass with fucking fabric? is he just regularly annihilating plumbing everywhere he shits or something? i don't understand.

[-] supdawg813@hexbear.net 31 points 11 hours ago

Kinda misleading, Kleenex Velvet is the brand name and it's not sold in some countries so he has to travel with it

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 19 points 11 hours ago

that's a brand name? wild

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 16 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Kleenex is basically synonymous with tissue paper in the US but I've never heard of them selling toilet paper before. Cottenelle is the TP brand from Kimberly-Clark in the US.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 7 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

tissue paper

For us, tissue paper is the thin packing paper that comes with fancy chocolates or gifts. We call facial/jizzual tissues just 'tissues'

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 8 points 8 hours ago

Yeah we do too, I'm just being weird there.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 7 hours ago

o7 all g

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 11 points 10 hours ago

Really? Over here (Aus) they're known for both. There is a Kleenex product for every orifice!

[-] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 10 points 10 hours ago

Apparently they own Kotex as well, so every orifice is truly accounted for.

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 7 points 10 hours ago

Napkins and cotton swabs too? Here Kleenex is strictly for your nose (or nut). I think the tissues did so well that the idea of Kleenex for your butt is weird.

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 8 points 10 hours ago

It's just toilet paper, which is probably made in the same factories as tissue paper, so Kleenex decided to cut out the middleman there. Not sure why they only do it in some places though. Maybe the US has too competitive of a toilet paper market?

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 6 points 9 hours ago

No its a simple matter of branding. Kleenex is a brand owned by Kimberly Clark, which also owns the TP brand Cottonelle. No reason to compete against yourself unless you're trying to make another brand look good by comparison.

Theres also the fact that the Kleenex brand in the US is extremely closely tied to facial tissues that its basically synonymous. Making a Kleenex TP would dilute that reputation.

[-] supdawg813@hexbear.net 8 points 11 hours ago

I know I was lowkey disappointed

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 38 points 12 hours ago

Probably extra soft toilet paper kept away from us because if we knew there more than one kind of softness, we'd never stop killing for it

[-] fox@hexbear.net 23 points 12 hours ago

He's got a dude whose job it is to emboss the royal monogram on every square of what's otherwise just Charmin 2 ply.

[-] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 17 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

They call him the ~~Lord of the Privy Chamber~~

Edit - Even better! A Groom of the Stool

[-] NewOldGuard@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 hours ago

Heneage and Denny, as servants "whom he used secretly about him", were privy to Henry VIII's most intimate confidences about Anne of Cleves. He told them he doubted her virginity, on account of "her brests so slacke".

Why is this so funny to me, wtf are you on about Henry