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Imagine being a monarchist and this is Your Guy (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 52 points 2 months ago

custom velvet toilet paper

pause. wtf does that even mean? is he wiping his ass with fucking fabric? is he just regularly annihilating plumbing everywhere he shits or something? i don't understand.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 44 points 2 months ago

Probably extra soft toilet paper kept away from us because if we knew there more than one kind of softness, we'd never stop killing for it

[-] supdawg813@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago

Kinda misleading, Kleenex Velvet is the brand name and it's not sold in some countries so he has to travel with it

[-] Llituro@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

that's a brand name? wild

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Kleenex is basically synonymous with tissue paper in the US but I've never heard of them selling toilet paper before. Cottenelle is the TP brand from Kimberly-Clark in the US.

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

Really? Over here (Aus) they're known for both. There is a Kleenex product for every orifice!

[-] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Apparently they own Kotex as well, so every orifice is truly accounted for.

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

Napkins and cotton swabs too? Here Kleenex is strictly for your nose (or nut). I think the tissues did so well that the idea of Kleenex for your butt is weird.

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

It's just toilet paper, which is probably made in the same factories as tissue paper, so Kleenex decided to cut out the middleman there. Not sure why they only do it in some places though. Maybe the US has too competitive of a toilet paper market?

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

No its a simple matter of branding. Kleenex is a brand owned by Kimberly Clark, which also owns the TP brand Cottonelle. No reason to compete against yourself unless you're trying to make another brand look good by comparison.

Theres also the fact that the Kleenex brand in the US is extremely closely tied to facial tissues that its basically synonymous. Making a Kleenex TP would dilute that reputation.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

tissue paper

For us, tissue paper is the thin packing paper that comes with fancy chocolates or gifts. We call facial/jizzual tissues just 'tissues'

[-] ZWQbpkzl@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Yeah we do too, I'm just being weird there.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

o7 all g

[-] supdawg813@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I know I was lowkey disappointed

[-] fox@hexbear.net 28 points 2 months ago

He's got a dude whose job it is to emboss the royal monogram on every square of what's otherwise just Charmin 2 ply.

[-] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They call him the ~~Lord of the Privy Chamber~~

Edit - Even better! A Groom of the Stool

[-] NewOldGuard@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 months ago

Heneage and Denny, as servants "whom he used secretly about him", were privy to Henry VIII's most intimate confidences about Anne of Cleves. He told them he doubted her virginity, on account of "her brests so slacke".

Why is this so funny to me, wtf are you on about Henry