The plan? Infiltrate the NYC Pokecenter dressed in three-piece suits and handling forged 3DS Ambassador certificates to shoplift at least 8 Switch 2s before they realize we're not Nintendo executives. (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by WokePalpatine@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] JustSo@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

what specialists do you need to pull this off? I could make time.

[-] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

I need a cracked B2B SaaS programmer to hack into the Pokecenter's computer system to find out how many Switch 2s they got. I need an explosives expert to break into the Switch 2 case where they hold the consoles. And I need a hot cosplayer femme fatale to distract the other shoppers who betrays me just before we get away, taking all the Switch 2s with her.

[-] JustSo@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

Ah fuck. What about a driver? I swore to never code again..

[-] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Damn it JustSo, what happened at the playstation job wasn't your fault. No-one could have known that you had take the CD out while it was still running in order to break the security.

Look if you don't do it they're gonna try to vibe code their way in with out you... they'll be slaughtered. I know it's a lot to ask but you have to do this one last job to save the crew, you've got to!

[-] JustSo@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I COULD HAVE KNOWN. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN DAMNIT.

negative

Jackdaw YROD'd on that run man. Fuck.

You're right though, those gooners will get their brainstems flatlined before they can even get close to sliding a nop-chain past the ice if they try to run without a real skidd.

[-] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

I also need someone with a soothing voice and deep Zelda lore knowledge on the intercoms to calm me down with lore facts and hypotheses while I'm executing the mission.

[-] JustSo@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

you're an odd fellow but you plan a good heist.

[-] WokePalpatine@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Scratch that. I need my 3DS with me jamming the Internet Settings and eShop Wish List BGM on discreet wireless earbuds.

[-] JustSo@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Hell yea. Mine have some sick homescreen tunes. (I may have more 3DSes than one person needs at the moment.)

[-] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I'm available if you need someone to fill in last minute when your fake ambassador with perfect japanese and deep nintendo corporate lore knowledge is entangled elsewhere and you need someone who doesn't speak a word of japanese to bluff their way in by awkwardly saying "uh... pikachu?" at just the right moment to inexplicibly build an instant and seemingly unassailable rapport with the staff. Unless it's on friday... I've already got a magic heist on that day.