Whenever I do nitrous, I see this same truth. The truth is that the universe has four phases. Being high on nitrous and seeing the structure is one of the four states.

There’s some kind of four-phase clockwork thing chugging along. Normal existence I think is one of the states?

I can’t remember. All I can remember is being astounded, every time, that I’m back in the “aware of what’s going on phase”, and I struggle mightily to remember the lesson, knowing I won’t be able to because the next phase is defined by my ignorance of it.

It’s maddening.

I’d love to do some serious ketamine sometime. I did a little line at a party once in 2006 and that was for my ketamine experience. It was a tiny bump and didn’t really affect me much. Nothing even remotely psychedelic, that I recall.

At that same party I did a huge hit of fucking homemade habanero extract (on purpose) and that was way more mind-blowing.

Unfortunately it doesn’t matter if you want to or not. You are literally never going to die.

You can die in other people’s worlds, but not in your own. Other people will die in your universe, but your own life will, beyond all odds, only continue forever.

You’ll die in others’ universes of course. Other people will lose you. But you’ll never lose yourself.

No choice, pal.

But I don’t think you’ll be human the whole time. Human lifespan is a century or so. So the story of your life will have to change to account for your survival. Eventually, no human story will suffice any longer. In these other timelines where you survive, you may be uploaded into a machine, or possibly disconnect from your body via astral projection, or wake up in a simulated universe instead, with different laws around death.

But at some point during the eternity, you’ll probably be the disc of light. I’m guessing trillions of years out, after the heat death of the universe has rendered it incapable of supporting any kind of life as we know it.

This is something I recently learned, actually. That we’re immortal.