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$500,000 or a dinner with Kim Jong Un?
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this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse
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You're all fools for taking the 500k.
I take the dinner with Kim and I ask him if we can take a photo (or photos) together that I can show the dogs of the American empire upon my return. Hopefully he consents.
I then log onto Twitter and post the pic with the caption "Great dinner with President Kim tonight! The US could learn a lot from a leader like him!" and wait for the underpaid CNN/MSNBC/Fox/etc interns to hit my DMs like "Hello ABC can we speak to you about your dinner with Secretary Kim?"
I only appear on networks/talk shows/etc that agree to pay my $10,000 appearance fees. I am set for life being the guy they bring on the network as the 'NK Expert' anytime North Korea's in the news. I only say good things about Kim.
You gotta end every interview with a cliffhanger. Just casually drop "and yeah, their teleportation tech is really catching up. They can beam rabbits now."
"The ABCs of The Hermit Kingdom with abc"