81
why are incels frowned/hated upon?
(lemmy.world)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
81 points (68.8% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26997 readers
1079 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Except some of us are treated like absolute garbage because of this definition. I'm just quiet and chill so somehow that gets defined as creepy. I've taken to just treating people as a reflection of how they treat me. Like I'm not even looking and I get treated as creepy I'd like to be in a relationship, but it really isn't a requirement for me to be fulfilled. This really messes with my self esteem and makes me not want to talk to people for the most part.
I can't speak to your creepiness, but as long as you put the onus on yourself as to why you're single and don't blame others, I wouldn't call you an incel. Do you call yourself an incel?
No I don't call myself an incel, but the definition has been detrimental to my daily life.. Like of I'm out in public not with a girl just doing things as normal I get this stigma and dirty looks.
Can you give an example?
Honestly, it sounds like an anxiety disorder. No one is looking at men walking around without a partner wondering why a partner isn't with them,. No one expects people to be with their partners all the time.
It's definitely tough when you get criticised just for chilling out. My advice is to try and not be offended by those comments unless they come from people close or important to you. Ask yourself: why does their opinion matter/what value does it actually have? Is it jyst a throwaway comment from a e.g. stranger or friend of a friend of a friend. You do not need other's opinions to validate yourself, so long as you're not causing harm to anyone else, keep doing what you're doing because it's good for you and leave the busibodies to their ignorant opinion and to waste only their time and effort on it, not yours.
Ps you share my broad approach of treating others well if they treat me well. Thumbs up for that!
This was me in college! And then I realized I was dressing like a weird hippy with a terrible haircut and gross beard. That stuff was a much bigger factor than being quiet.