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this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Wasn't there some story in some old book about a big powerful imposing dude at the head of an invading army losing to a guy hitting him with a rock or something? I wonder if something like that is relevant here.
Pyrrhus, king of Epirus : "While he was fighting an Argive soldier, the soldier's old mother, who was watching from a rooftop, threw a tile which knocked him from his horse and broke part of his spine, paralyzing him. Whether he was alive or not after the blow is unknown, but his death was assured when a Macedonian soldier named Zopyrus, though frightened by the look on the face of the unconscious king, hesitantly and ineptly beheaded his motionless body."
Source : Wikipedia
I love when Wikipedia and others add these weasel words in to colour the situation
Oh no, this peasant was able to kill a noble? He must have been shidding and farting and crying, ineptly beheading the king
Like fuck off, the king got owned. Did his head come off? Then it wasn't a fucking inept beheading was it
rare wikipedia W actually, that's a reasonable summary of the source:
spoiler
But Pyrrhus, seeing the stormy sea that surged about him, took off the coronal with which his helmet was distinguished, and gave it to one of his companions; then, relying on his horse, he plunged in among the enemy who were pursuing p459 him. Here he was wounded by a spear which pierced his breastplate โ not a mortal, nor even a severe wound โ and turned upon the man who had struck him, who was an Argive, not of illustrious birth, but the son of a poor old woman. 2 His mother, like the rest of the women, was at this moment watching the battle from the house-top, and when she saw that her son was engaged in conflict with Pyrrhus, she was filled with distress in view of the danger to him, and lifting up a tile with both her hands threw it at Pyrrhus. It fell upon his head below his helmet and crushed the vertebrae at the base of his neck, so that his sight was blurred and his hands dropped the reins. Then he sank down from his horse and fell near the tomb of Licymnius,โ40 unrecognised by most who saw him. 3 But a certain Zopyrus, who was serving under Antigonus, and two or three others, ran up to him, saw who he was, and dragged him into a door-way just as he was beginning to recover from the blow. And when Zopyrus drew an Illyrian short-sword with which to cut off his head, Pyrrhus gave him a terrible look, so that Zopyrus was frightened; his hands trembled, and yet he essayed the deed; but being full of alarm and confusion his blow did not fall true, but along the mouth and chin, so that it was only slowly and with difficulty that he severed the head. 4 Presently what had happened was known to many, and Alcyoneus, running to the spot, asked for the head as if he would see whose it was. But when he had got it he rode away to his father, and cast it down before him as he sat among his friends. Antigonus, however, when he saw and recognised the head, drove his son p461 away, smiting him with his staff and calling him impious and barbarous; then, covering his face with his cloak he burst into tears, calling to mind Antigonus his grandfather and Demetrius his father, who were examples in his own family of a reversal of fortuneis a case where i question why they'd bother rendering it in their own words instead of simply relaying the quote but i'm sure its some encyclopedia style guidance bullshit
Alright fair enough, they get a pass this time
Uncommon W for a soldier, we thank him for his service
It's also actually pretty hard to behead a human, especially a strong man like Pyrrhus was. Experienced executioner Sanson even wrote entire essay about partially that when he was arguing France should adopt guillotine, and i would assume it was even harder in condition of urban battle than in scenes of execution (though the weapon used was most likely machaira typically used by Greek soldiers back in the day, and it was heavy sword for cutting so it helped).
David and Goliath
Nah, that doesn't sound quite right. I think that was the claymotion show with the dog.
No no that's Wallace and Gromit. I think he's referring to the show with the annoying scientist and his grandson flying around in a spaceship doing absurd shit.
The scientist was the grandson and it was called Futurama
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath
Yeah, I was doing a very annoying bit, I was talking about that but being very facetious about it.
I liked the bit