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Australia rule
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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Oh can we stop this? we have no large land predators. Indeed Australia is so peaceful as to give rise to the quokka that fearlessly approaches humans.
Sure if you piss off a kangaroo or deliberately antagonise a spider you might get hurt but you'd have to really really try and odds are you would just get fixed up in hospital.
This land is peaceful, it's inhabitants kind (well, except the humans, the English really did a number).
NaevaTheRat? You're not really a rat are you? You're a Drop Bear. This is exactly the sort of thing a Drop Bear would post to entice more ~~victims~~ people to come to Australia.
Seriously though it's a country I'd love to visit one day.
I'm 3 rats in a trenchcoat
Come visit, if you come to the blue mountains hit me up and I'll take you on some more local knowledge bushwalks.
I hate our culture but I love the land and its slowtime history
That's exactly what a drop bear would say.
Please, I am begging you. Say something that hasn't been prepackaged for you?
I honestly get where you're coming from. I'm from the US southeast, and the internet had a whole moment with the phrase "bless your heart," and they are almost exclusively using it wrong, which is such a shame.
But getting mad about it just makes trolls appear and assholes will say the thing that annoys you just to annoy you. Best to just try to let it go.
I'm not mad, I just think it's boring. LLMs already have regurgitated speech sounding garbage bereft of meaning covered. Humans can be so much more rich and interesting.
You’ve got your own stereotypes to deal with mate.
Why, yes. That would be the entire point.
Bless their heart.
Honestly, this one was correct! Well done.
I lived in Georgia for 10 years, so I have some experience with it.
It shows, friend, it shows.
An American with humour? Not a chance …
/s
This.
But it's so safe and familiar, why should I regard you as a real person with thoughts and dreams?
3 rats disguised as a bigger rat in a trenchcoat
We've been made. Scatter!
Yeah!
Except for... You know... Taipan's... Fierce snakes... Stone fish... Blue ringed octopuses... Box jellyfish... Irukanji jellyfish... Gimpi gimpi trees... Bats carrying lyssa virus... White tail spiders... Mosquito's carrying Ross river virus and/or dengue fever... Etc etc etc....
Not anywhere near built up areas... there's one, the brown snake. he's a bit ornery but he'll leave you be almost all the time if you make some noise while walking and fatalities are ~2 a year and mostly in highly remote areas... don't walk in the tide pools without shoes on? you'll cut your foot on oysters at the best of times silly... just leave random critters in tide pools alone? it's not like they seek you out or attack you while you swim... yeah boxies are a nuance but only at the far north at certain times of year, you can swim when they're not around... never heard of them so they can't be that bad... what are you doing? naked bush bashing in FNQ? fucking relax, it's a random poisoned tree in some of the most remote regions of australia. Not like you'll get stung in any tourist region lmao... are you in the habit of disturbing bats? they fly up in the sky yo, just don't try ambush some sleeping bats? are you afraid of licking pidgeons or something?... white tails are not harmful https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/topics/wildlife/2017/04/the-truth-about-white-tail-spiders/ and like all spiders you have to really really try to get bitten. You can handle them and they'll leave you alone... again are you naked bush bashing in FNQ? haha do you think our major cities are plagued by jungle fevers you idiot...
Man I live in Darwin, a kid I went to school with died from stepping on a stone fish, my cousin was taken by a crocodle. My brother was bit by a king brown and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks. My sister was bit by a redback spider.
My uncle caught Ross River virus and my other uncle died of meliodosis.
Your part of Australia in the blue mountain's might be good and safe, except for the incest mountain family.
My part of Australia is reasonably dangerous still
You live in one of the most remote, populated places. Like obviously things are different.
Also redbacks aren't generally lethal without an allergic reaction. Hurts like hell though!
The only really dangerous animal we have is the crocodile, but only far north
We all learn how to treat a snake bite, but the only people who get bitten by snakes are snake handlers
As opposed to FUCKING BEARS. No one ever brings up the fact that america gets BEARS. IN THEIR GARBAGE BINS. As opposed to 90% of our shit we don't encounter unless we go out of our way
My Canadian mate "So I was walking in the forest last night eh and I uh got stalked by a bit of a mountain lion. How aboot that? bit of a fright eh?"
me "I went for a bushwalk at night and walked into a spiderweb. It felt slightly icky"
Yeah I'm not visiting the Painted World of Australia sorry lmao
But all the best level design is here.
So you’re trying to tell me that spiders, amongst other things, aren’t going around Australia eating or fighting as many Aussies as they can?
That sounds like some wild conspiracy theory…
And everyone knows that only large predators can kill people! Also, Australians and tourists famously never go to the beach and swim in the ocean, so only LAND animals matter!
Anyways, I'd honestly love to come to Australia. I just hope I don't accidentally get killed
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
accidentally get killed
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Drowning is the biggest danger for people just arrived in Sydney
It's pretty rare to hear of a shark attack.
Blue ring octopuses and stone fish don't seek you out
Dangerous jellyfish are only in the far north
The ocean is pretty safe around the populated parts of Australia for people who know how to be safe from drowning.
Swim on patrolled beaches, between the flags.
What the fuck is going on at that airport??
Lol
Kingsford-Smith backs onto water, sometimes the planes are tired and they try land a little early...
If you want an honest answer, it's just fun for us. Take it as mild ribbing. There are worse things to be remembered for.
It's just boring. There are so many genuinely funny things to say about Australia but this is played out. Like if everytime someone mentioned the usa people were like "Oh are you afraid of being shot? bet you have to constantly watch out for being shot huh? shot?" or if when the UK came up it was just "Queen and empire right haha bet you eat shit food huh?" (actually people do this and it's also not funny especially when you can tease them for all the genuinely hilarious shit like the house of Lords and the London museum).
As an American, I kinda am...
Don't you guys have that plant that, if you touch, is so painful it makes you want to commit suicide?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides
read that page. You're unlikely to come across it without trying. No confirmed deaths in Australia. You can find videos of people stinging themselves, it looks unpleasant but not that bad. Not even exclusive to Australia.
"Bad things can happen to you if you deep into the forest/jungle and don't know what you're doing" is hardly uniquely Australian.
Well yes, but apart from the plants and animals and terrain there is nothing deadly about Australia.
Says the guy with taipans and funnel-web spiders in his yard. You're also being very cheeky with that "land" qualifier. Your ocean is full of utter murder demons like sea snakes and stonefish.
There have been funnelwebs in my yard at times. Know what I do? Don't stick my fingers under logs/in suspicious funnel shaped webs in the yard and wear shoes. If I got bitten I'd just go to hospital and get the antivenom and have an unpleasant 2 days.
Taipans don't live near me, brown snakes do. Almost stepped on one once, know what I did? not do that and walked backwards slowly. The horror!
I like hiking without dying.
I guess if you're neurotic enough to think that's a real risk you're probs best to not come here.