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[-] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 33 points 6 months ago

Honestly, no matter what side of the debate you are on its still dystopian to think that women would actually think to go to a bear over a random man when faced with the choice.

I am being introspective about this though. We created a culture of fear. A lot of it is through the consequences of rape culture and I think a large part is through an unhealthy about of true crime that's being made. Constantly blasting worse case scenarios into people's heads. I dunno, I just despise how we all just accepted not to trust one another and it seems like we've all just accepted that this to way to be about it. I just see it as a example of the alienation being pushed by capitalism.

It's makes me a little mad tbh. Being perfectly honest it should make everyone mad. Like tbh I still think going with a random guy is the correct answer to this but we all should come together, look at this whole situation and realise the dystopian implications of this.

[-] Pronell@lemmy.world 46 points 6 months ago

Yes! Thank you!

Does it hurt that women feel that way? Of course it does, so let's work to be better so that random people can trust each other!

Angrily lashing out at the women who are pondering the benefits of a bear isn't gonna help.

Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

Create that safer environment. It isn't impossible.

[-] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 6 months ago

Be someone a woman would feel safe to be around. Call it out when those around you fail that test.

Create that safer environment. It isn't impossible.

Thank you for demonstrating healthy masculinity. The rest of this thread is a trainwreck of victim blaming.

[-] ChocoboRocket@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I totally understand why women would pick bear, as bear society doesn't bend over backwards to victimize women.

Most power structures cater to the people who abuse power. Police, church, courts, military, etc all tend to go crazy easy on men who abuse women.

Republicans want to take away women's rights/independence, limit/eliminate divorce, force birth for rape/incest. Police who assault women are protected and don't face consequences, and most religions literally view women as a subspecies that serve men.

Maybe the average man is totally normal and helpful, but the history of violence between men and women is like 98% men killing women with heaps of Rape, confinement, physical/mental abuse etc.

The worst any Bear could do is kill someone in 1-2 minutes, maybe longer.

It's also an incredibly loaded situation in that being alone in the woods with a bear is "natural" and being alone in the woods with a strange man already sounds like a horror movie plot/murder news story.

There's also the constant "stranger danger" fear women will pretty much always experience because men can consistently and easily overpower most women. All women I have met seem to know at least one or more women who have been sexually assaulted, had their drink spiked etc, so it's not some obsession with crime shows or scary movies driving this fear. It's actual rapists prevalent in society and emboldened enough by lack of consequences to act.

Even in cases where it seems obvious Rape happened, it's a brutal gauntlet of gas lighting, victim blaming, "can't ruin their life for a mistake", etc that stop a huge amount of reporting and convictions.

Going back to the question itself, answer ratios would probably change depending on the area, would women be less inclined to pick bear if they were in a library instead of the woods because it's unnatural for a bear to be in that environment?

People need to relax, and focus on the real story. Women have an incredibly long and valid list of reasons to be afraid of men and society needs to do better to make women feel safe

[-] cannibalkitteh@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 6 months ago

Ultimately, bear is the less complicated decision, not entirely because it is without danger, but because it is not subject to gaslighting. Most people understand that a bear attack is bad and won't raise concerns about how you led the bear on or that what you were wearing was to blame.

[-] Drusas@kbin.run 8 points 6 months ago

Although, if you live somewhere that grizzlies are common, and you're out hiking or biking without a bear bell, there will be some judgment on what you were (not) wearing.

/used to live in Alaska

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

Yeah I’m probably more comfortable with strange men in a library than strange bears. The woods are where strange bears go. The library is where strange people go.

Now if I have them making advances towards me, bear in a library 100%. My local bears are black bears and they can be scared off easier than some men.

[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 17 points 6 months ago

I agree totally with the first sentiment but I don't think the recent prevalence of True Crime media really plays into it at all. This is not a new thing. Women have been making these risk assessment decisions for generations in the modern age. Girls are taught this kind of thing with how to protect themselves at a young age.

This is primarily a cultural issue and it won't change unless the majority of people propagating (intentionally or not) realize what's happening and work to change.

[-] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I dunno, the media and its relationship to crime is well documented. Many people accept that old people that panic about inner city crime despite it being at a record low since the 1970s are victims of this phenomenon. Why is it difficult to believe that young women who consume a lot of true crime content aren't also effected by this phenomenon in some way. I have studied psychology and I did do a journalism course which, admittedly, I dropped out of. I just don't like how fear based society has become. People are just too quick to assume the absolute worst and I kinda view this bear question as a reflection on that.

[-] RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago

I don't know a single woman who hasn't been at the very least harrassed by men they don't know. I know so, so many who have been assaulted, and that's just the women who have chosen to share their experience. Thinking your couple college classes means you know more about women's experiences than women themselves is ridiculous.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

The media is bad but the sexual assault and harassment statistics are sobering. And they're highly under reported because enforcement is often a joke.

It's not an exaggeration to say most women either know someone who was assaulted or harassed, or they were themselves. And it was likely while they were a teenager. That kind of lesson doesn't come from MTV.

[-] orrk@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

no, true crime definitely plays into this, because the question is not asking "what is safer", but "what feels safer", and while it's not inherently wrong for anyone to mistrust random people, especially women in decently large parts of society, this is a feeling question, and like it or not, but Society does consist of the stories we tell ourselves and others, and while we still have a long way to go, you can not argue that women are less safe now than during the 50s - 60s - 70s - 80s, yet the perception of many people is that it has scarcely ever been more dangerous, and that also has a reason.

this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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