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They are coming down hard on protestors because the powers the be are scared and weak. They are stretched thin and are incompetent. They lost Vietnam, they lost the Middle East, they lost Cuba, they lost North Korea, they lost Ukraine and they'll eventually lose the world.
You are currently in the claws of the beast and the beast is dying. You will be free of it's clutches, keep biting its hands. It's squeezing you because your bites hurt it. Do not give up.
Keep fighting the good fight, comrade.
One thing that helped me when I was severely suicidal a few years ago was to remind myself that this is an altered state of consciousness and the dark thoughts are not me, or at least not the me I want to be. Looking back the mind frame I was in back then is more foreign than any drunken stupor or high. This was a very bad, very long trip but it did end.
That's something important I should keep in mind. My depression is as much an altered state as drunkenness