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Radical acceptance
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”
Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”
Mom: “really? you sure about that?”
Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”
Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”
Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”
Me: crawls into a hole and dies of embarrassment
I mean, your parents thought of you, tried to connect, listened, then started lining up care.
Parents be winning.
If you thought you'd get out of your teenage years without death-by-embarrassment, you're kidding yourself.
To connect with you, my parents discovered the evidence of long term daily self harm when I was in a bike crash and was unconscious. They otherwise believed me happy and healthy. That wasn't a fun conversation in the hospital, with a concussion.
As a parent, most of us just want to help, but it's incredibly hard to know what's going on inside your head.
I was a kid once too, and I know how hard dealing with parents can be. But I also know that every time I opened up, they attempted to help. Give it a shot, unless they're actually abuse.
Even today when my daughter is a self sufficient adult, whenever she calls for advice, the first thing I do is bring my mind back in time to when I was that age and remember what was going through my head when a similar situation to hers arose.
It's not natural for me to do this. I have to make conscious effort. But it's proven to give me better perspective and increases her level of trust with me.
Yup, the age old "listen" and "consider things from their perspective." If you can master that (incredibly difficult), you'll master all forms of social interaction, not just parenting.
You should get therapy if your parents are offering. It helps.
Except when you find out the therapist your parents sent you to was their friend and told them everything you shared.
Then you sue for the HIPAA violation and can actually maybe afford a house one day, possibly.
monkey's paw curls
Now you've gone too far and your parents aren't being accepting of you anymore
Thankfully it doesn't matter if your parents are willing to do that!
Assuming this is when they're a teenager, they don't get rights. Minors getting rights in the US is an illusion
It's not a HIPPA violation if you're a minor and the information is being released to your parents. In fact, I'm pretty sure they're required to disclose any and all information to your parents unpon request. Minors have no rights to privacy against their parents at least in the US.
The more I learn about your country the less I like it.
Dad: Quick reload the save we did before we started this convo path
Mom:...I forgot
Dad:...fuck.
I had an almost verbatim convo with my parents as a teen.