That's going to be a long path. Start with small steps to train yourself. Set weekly goals/reminders of what change you want to see. Start by forcing you to actively listen and engage in the conversation. Train yourself to remember what the other person said. If you don't feel like helping, ask yourself why (after the conversation is over) and actively decide that your reason is valid and you indeed don't want to/can't help. If the reason is not valid, offer to help. Also, start conversations with other people as small talk. That way, not all conversations are about what people need from you. Train yourself to stop seeing conversations as something where you need to solve people's problems. If they are not actively asking your help, maybe they don't need it. Maybe they're just offloading some frustration or see you as a friend with whom they can share personal stuff.

Not all talked about problems require a direct solution from yourside. Sometimes people just want somebody who symphatizes with them and feels with them. And that's enough and the only thing they want from you. Unfortunately, being a human means all interactions are selfcentered from the startingparty point of view. So view them as part of life.