There isn't any someone I want to be hugging.

It's a nonsensical concept.

Closeness..?

you require sufficiently-related identity/ego underlying you, for that.

People who are too different, one cannot be close with, obviously

( extreme case is when prejudice is between people, but the underlying principle holds much more solidly than just-that-case )

I'm not putting this here for any "pity": I'm putting this here so that if there's any other person who's in the destroy-unconscious-ignorance-no-matter-the-cost kind of life, that they can see what happens, when one keeps going.

Eventually you reach a condition where collaboration with others still is entirely possible, but "belonging" has become gone.

Keep going: they integrity one can earn, the conquering of one's own unconscious-mind, it is worth it.

Some might relate it to being a time-traveler: one'll never fit-in, in the people one lives among, but it is itself, not any fiction thing.

Cracking one's unconscious is sooo far outside what "acceptable people" do, that .. if you go far enough, then you .. are just too different.

Divergeance is fine, though, so long as living is fine.

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