How do you connect with people and make friends without social media? (yiffit.net)

submitted 5 months ago by Fal@yiffit.net to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm struggling to figure out how to make friends without having Instagram or any other social media. I have discord but don't use it much. I see all my acquaintances in discord channels and sharing Instagram posts and stuff. It's already hard for me to make friends, but I feel like not having any of the traditional social media means I'm not included in any of that stuff.

Do you just accept that Instagram and shit are the way people interact and use it?

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[-] corroded@lemmy.world -3 points 5 months ago

You don't. People need fulfillment, not human interaction. Find something you are passionate about and pour your time and effort into it. Buy a classic car and restore it. Learn how to make your own furniture. Start learning photography. Write a book. Develop a program or app. Start a fitness routine. Brew your own beer. Learn a foreign language. The list is endless.

What matters is doing something that brings you satisfaction. A hobby that involves creating something or improving yourself is so much better than wasting time with other people. Spend a day hanging out with friends, and what do you have at the end of the day? Nothing. Spend a day planting a garden, and what do you have at the end of the day? You have a nice garden.

[-] Fal@yiffit.net 4 points 5 months ago

I kind of disagree. I have some hobbies and I've done some of those things, but what matters to me is the human connection. So at the end of the day you have your herb garden, who cares? It's just going to die eventually, or you'll eat it, and it regrows. An endless cycle of no one giving a shit.

But having someone to connect with and share an experience with, that's what matters to me.

[-] corroded@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

What is human connection, though? It's your brain releasing dopamine because you spent time with another person. It matters to you because it makes you feel good. Other things can make you feel good, too. The difference is that hobbies and activities won't let you down. They won't stop being your hobby because they'd rather spend time with someone else. People are unreliable and ultimately selfish at heart.

Say you make a friend. 60 years from now, you and your friend are both dead, and what's left behind? Nothing. I'm not old, but I'm certainly not young either. It took me a while to realize that other people just don't matter. In the end, nothing matters at all; everything you and I do is ultimately going to fade into irrelevance when we're dead. Might as well make the most of the time we have alive, then; do something that makes you happy. Don't rely on another selfish human being for your happiness.

[-] Fal@yiffit.net 1 points 5 months ago

In the end, nothing matters at all; everything you and I do is ultimately going to fade into irrelevance when we’re dead.

This is exactly why other people are the only thing that matters. I'm already depressed and have this nihilistic view. So doing hobbies that don't matter and I don't really care about doesn't mean shit to me. But making someone else feel good, and enjoying having a connection is the only thing that makes any of this worth it.

this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024

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