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Basic American etiquette
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Sorry but toast is made from bread. That there would be legally called cake in large swathes of the planet
No it wouldn't.
Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).
This is just standard regular sliced bread.
Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What's allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you're just the most vocally snobbish.
In Germany there's Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an "American-style" style of toast (again: don't eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it's usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is "sandwich slices" or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that's recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.
Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they're giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.
I actually looked this up; wonderbread has 2.5 grams of sugar per 30g slice!
Fuckin hell
The worst offender I could find in France was Harry's American bread. 1.2 grams of sugar per 40g slice
In Ireland, if bread has more than 2 grams of sugar per 100g, it's cake and is taxed as such
No, we're talking America here. That's not nearly enough butter. It needs to cover basically the whole face of the toast.
Unironically yes.
Indeed, as an American I feel it would only be exaggeration if the whole face of the toast was covered in so much butter that it's white.
Why wouldn’t you want butter over the whole face of the toast? What kind of monster are you?
The kind of monster who toasts my toast on the lowest setting, but still uses a full coat of butter.
I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P