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submitted 4 months ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee 105 points 4 months ago

The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it's left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand.

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 70 points 4 months ago

Remove the /s, you are right and the commenter was ignorant of traditional American etiquette.

[-] JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee 18 points 4 months ago

Can't I be both right and sarcastic?

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

The best kind of sarcasm is right.

[-] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 27 points 4 months ago

No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.

A gun that size isn't actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it's just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You'll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.

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[-] grue@lemmy.world 76 points 4 months ago

This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.

[-] lettruthout@lemmy.world 31 points 4 months ago

Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.

[-] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 months ago

They're American. They can't afford cholesterol medication.

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[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 69 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

One egg!? I'm sorry is this the USSR?

[-] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

On its own single egg plate. So fancy

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 months ago

A real American would put the multiple eggs on top of the bacon

[-] uis@lemm.ee 11 points 4 months ago

Close, but no, this is USSA. You missed by 4 kilometers.

[-] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

No, this is clearly someone originally from Quebec. Because there, one egg is un ouef.

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[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 34 points 4 months ago

It used to be, but at this point in history, that's like $300 worth of bacon.

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

From experience that is about $20-30.

[-] modifier@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 months ago

Only one way to resolve this dispute: gentlemen, to your respective breakfast guns.

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Ok, but can't we just cook $300 worth of bacon and find out who is right and have enough bacon to stop my heart instead?

[-] constantokra@lemmy.one 33 points 4 months ago

There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.

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[-] Nougat@fedia.io 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner's firing hand is.

Edits below!

After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @Zachariah@lemmy.world that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, "to show you plan for a peaceful meal."

Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:

At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.

At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.

At a "high table," Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host's status, and the diner's status as a guest at the table.

[-] teft@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Real shooters can shoot with both hands.

[-] bstix@feddit.dk 20 points 4 months ago
[-] nailingjello@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 months ago

What's this gif from? I NEED to watch this movie.

[-] bstix@feddit.dk 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
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[-] cm0002@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago

Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson

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[-] Freefall@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ok, first off....I usually have two eggs.

Second, it is with my Sig p365

So...checkmate!

[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Also, there's only one starch. We have potatoes with our toast.

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[-] spizzat2@lemm.ee 22 points 4 months ago

Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

Gun goes... on top?

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

Gun goes on hip so that you don't need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.

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[-] Nobody@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It's considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.

[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 months ago

That's the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner's testicles.

[-] Sasquatch@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 months ago

Safety off. Only protection is the hefty FUPA obscuring the weapon from sight

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[-] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it's flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.

Also^2, the coffee should be black.

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[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.

[-] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

This is why I have a suppressor on my breakfast gun

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[-] riskey@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago
[-] Venator@lemmy.nz 13 points 4 months ago

That's probably second breakfast.

[-] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 4 months ago

Where is the fucking cheese and Coca Cola?

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[-] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago

Uh... Why is there only one egg?

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[-] Quill0@lemmy.digitalfall.net 9 points 4 months ago

No cheese

No sausages

No ketchup

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[-] Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 4 months ago

I prefer to have my bacon mountain on top of my pancake tower. Also, needs more eggs and jelly for my toast, but where.the.fuck. is my glass of OJ?

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[-] uienia@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

I just imagine they eat a huge bowl of that candy which they xall cereal.

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[-] snooggums@midwest.social 7 points 4 months ago

Not enough bacon.

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Everything should be coated in maple syrup too.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 4 months ago

American breakfast is the same as English breakfast except we don't have beans or blood sausage. The beans are replaced with fruit, the blood sausage is replaced with regular sausage, and the gun is just a centerpiece, not actually part of the meal.

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this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
1131 points (97.2% liked)

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