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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 89 points 4 months ago

How am I supposed to believe that when I died within a year of getting my first COVID vaccine back in 2021 like I was told I would?

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 52 points 4 months ago

I don't know about you, but I died of blood clots, cancer, heart disease, myocarditis, and a whole bunch of other things several times over now. Must be the eight COVID vaccines I've gotten I guess.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 35 points 4 months ago

Also, the Bill Gates microchips. Don't forget those. And I'm still magnetic.

[-] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 13 points 4 months ago

But hey, at least your 5G reception is fantastic

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Oh great, now you're reminding me about how my cell phone gave me a brain tumor back in the 90s.

And just don't ask me about the time I blew up a gas station because my mom called me while I was filling up.

[-] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 11 points 4 months ago

And just don't ask me about the time I blew up a gas station because my mom called me while I was filling up.

Oh shit I'd completely forgotten about that one.

I mean yeah, at least GSM phones (and I guess CDMA too since the frequency bands are pretty close) did tend to cause funky interference, but the idea that they could somehow cause fuel pumps to go boom was… well, a bit silly.

[-] Serinus@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Yet these people never pick up on things like asbestos or lead or microplastics.

[-] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Pfft, woke cultural Marxist "scientists" controlled by BIG GOBERMENT tell you that asbestos causes cancer or that tiny pieces of plastic can make you sick, and you believe them? I'll snort a rail of asbestos just to trigger the libs.

But seriously speaking though, while yeah that was sarcastic as fuck, that's essentially the world view behind why conservatives are increasingly detached from reality; anything "the left" (which, like I tend to quip, is apparently everyone left of the Strasserites nowadays) believes in is by default wrong because the left is wrong. The authorities, researchers etc. who say that CO^2^ emissions are a problem, or that drinking bleach or eating huge doses of dewormer won't actually cure your COVID – which by the way you simultaneously believe to be a lie perpetrated by Jewish space lizards controlled by Bill Gates – are all "the left", so those things just can't be true

[-] Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run 5 points 4 months ago

And popping popcorn with our phones. LoL those were the days.

[-] dogsnest@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Watch out for water and sharks, squid dude.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

I'm good with water, thanks, but never mind sharks. What I really need to look out for is other squid!

https://www.livescience.com/56211-squid-cannibalism.html

[-] dactylotheca@suppo.fi 7 points 4 months ago

Damn, it's a squid-eat-squid world

[-] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 months ago

And not in a good way!

[-] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

This is likely the source of that particular conspiracy.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 4 months ago

See, that’s where you’re missing the point. That fact that we all reanimated after death is proof that the vaccines had secret chemicals in them.

[-] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

I don't know about you, but everything has been wonderful and perfect since I let the vaccine microchips take over my brain.

[-] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 months ago

It's been terrible for me. My 5G signal still isn't great. At least I have WiFi calling.

this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2024
253 points (98.8% liked)

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