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this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Asklemmy
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NSFW INCOMING…
Tap for spoiler
I once saw a boner!Was delivering pizza and after knocking on the door, and no one answered, I took a few steps back and looked around to see if anyone was at home. I saw two people on the couch in the living room, naked, face to face.
Well fuck! They’re home, but busy, and if I leave we lose a sale. So I knock again, a but louder.
Door opens a he’s standing there in the buck with a wet, raging, erection. I can smell the sex on him. “Yeah!?” he says…
Now I’m there, in uniform, holding a pizza delivery bag, and my running car is behind me with a big ol’ corporate pizza logo lit up.
“You ordered a pizza?”
“Oh yeah, right!” He hold out his hands.
“That’ll be $18…” He looks confused. “You have to pay for the food sir…”
Light bulb goes off. Weed smoke starts wafting out the door.
He looks down, laughs to himself and just turns around and walks away. Leaving the door open. I hope he’s going to find his wallet, so I stay there.
A few minutes later he returns to the open door, smelling strongly of weed and pussy, his dick now dripping wet. He hands me a $20, and waits for his change.
Haha of course.
guy shows up high, naked, mid-coitus with an erection and you still do the job. meanwhile i step away from the pool to open the door for the landlord agent to conduct move out inspection; he walks away and i get a nastygram from the landlord later on that i was exhibiting inappropriate behavior making their agent uncomfortable and they're going to fine me $150 if i do it again.
strange world.
According to r*ddit, naked guys happen semi-often if you deliver pizza. This is kind of next level, though.
I did get an obvious booty call once when I was going door-to-door, although the guy kind of tried to hide behind the couch in the background.
"You know what I'm gonna give ya? I'm gonna give ya to the count of ten to get your ugly, yella, no good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! One... Two... Ten! Ahahaha!!! Ahahahahahaha!!
"Keep the change, you filthy animal."
"get on your knees and tell me that you live me."
"I believe you.
... But my Tommy gun don't."