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I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 17 hours ago by geekwithsoul@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social

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I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?

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[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 29 points 15 hours ago

I'd vote for Frodo, since he's ignoring all of the ridiculous political bullshit and actually trying to do a revolutionary act by building a fellowship and working together with his friends to destroy the source of the evil rather than fighting over who is the best one to control the evil.

I swear it's like you people haven't even read the books!

[-] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 6 points 15 hours ago

Ahh, yes, Frodo. The one who actually gave into the ring and was only saved by someone literally biting it and the attached finger off.

Also, brave call to say that Frodo exerted an ounce of agency. Frodo was a puppet of the existing power structure and elites who essentially got tricked into going without understanding what was at stake, repeatedly put the ring on despite Gandalf telling him not to, got stabbed and almost died, and then because no one could trust anyone else with it, was the default choice to keep going with a group he had no say in creating.

If you were going to pick someone, you should at least have gone with Samwise.

Talk about someone who hasn't read the books.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 36 points 15 hours ago

Frodo was saved by the community he built along the way. That's why we build community in the first place. Media literacy isn't that hard if you put your mind to it!

[-] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 7 points 15 hours ago

He was saved by Gollum biting his fucking finger off, but sure. Keep simping for your rich, nepo-baby, landowning bourgeois. Find it hilarious seeing someone from hexbear backing the landlord in the story.

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 17 points 12 hours ago

In one of Tolkien's letters, he specifically says that if Gollum had been redeemed as much as he could, he would have taken the ring and jumped into Mt. Doom voluntarily.

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 22 points 14 hours ago

Bourgeois? That sounds like communist talk. Are you some kind of tankie?

[-] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 3 points 14 hours ago

No, but would've loved when Frodo got rid of Sam, if Sam has said "See the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being repressed!" 😄

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 12 points 13 hours ago

😄

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 21 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

And yet I don't find it surprising that the ee is backing genocidal maniacs, that seems pretty par for the course

[-] frauddogg@hexbear.net 17 points 13 hours ago

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Liberals can only imagine last minute ass-pulls saving the day and devalue anyone and anything else striving to avert calamity. Otherwise, it's all Adults In The Room that Make The Hard Decisions and Get Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.

And judging by how you're talking here, you identify as one such Adult In The Room that Makes The Hard Decisions and Gets Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.