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Badgers
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this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.
This is all true but it's missing a key detail. The Australian badger is actually completely unrelated to the European and American badgers (which are mustelids). The Australian badger is a marsupial most closely related to the Tasmanian devil.
I'm pretty sure you made this up, so i believe it completely.
I don't want to know if this is true or not. Nobody look it up.
No.
Those are the ones related to drop bears, right? I mean they've gotta be.
Of course Australian badgers would do this.
You had me in the first half
Wat.
It sounds kinda based on stink badgers but they also aren't in Australia.
That's worse. So much worse. "I won't kill you but you'll wish I did"