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Badgers (mander.xyz)
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[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 120 points 1 month ago
[-] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 74 points 1 month ago
[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

🦑 🦑 🦑

[-] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago
[-] Redredme@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

Fuck it, there is no substitute.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pzagBTcYsYQ

(if i could i would upload the original flash animation from albino black sheep)

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 14 points 1 month ago

I hate how hard it's to convey this masterpiece of a meme to younger audience now that Newgrounds doesn't use the music background anymore and ng isn't a default go to media place for them. Even Know Your Meme doesn't mention why this is created.

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[-] turtlepower@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

🐍🐍

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago
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[-] Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 100 points 1 month ago

Wisconsinite here where the badger is native and the mascot for the University of Wisconsin is the Badger.

This meme is inaccurate.

The American Badger will also remove your kidneys and sell them on the black market as well, to support their meth habit.

[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 19 points 1 month ago

The badger moniker comes from lead miners that initially settled the Wisconsin territory. They often didn't even bother building homes at first and just lived in their wildcat lead mines, like a badger.

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[-] Cenzorrll@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I'm in new mexico and saw a badger crossing the road while I was driving to work. It stopped in the middle of the road, turned towards me and waited, like it was deciding whether or not to fuck up the large metal thing coming towards it. Then slowly turned and continued on it's way when it decided I wasn't worth it. No fear whatsoever.

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[-] Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 67 points 1 month ago

90% of the time Euro badgers do that

10% of the time they scream "Eulalia!" and tear you limb from limb

[-] witty_username@feddit.nl 67 points 1 month ago

But the American badger turns out to just want to drink a beer and talk about sports whereas the European badger, after having sat you down for some tea and buttered crumpets, reveals itself to be a racist eugenicist

[-] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 36 points 1 month ago

TBH, β€œreveals itself by shivving you anyway” is probably closer to the truth with Brittons and their tea.

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[-] CptOblivius@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago

Brother in law had a huge wolf dog. The kind that can put it's paws on your shoulders and look at you face to face. Massive. He got in a tussel with a badger and got tore up, took two weeks to heal. Then took off and came back with a 40 lbs badger in his mouth. Overall a 40 lbs meth badger = 150 lbs wolf dog.

[-] dessimbelackis@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Dog had a bone to pick with that badger

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[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago
[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 month ago
[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 month ago

Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 24 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure you made this up, so i believe it completely.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 20 points 1 month ago

This is all true but it's missing a key detail. The Australian badger is actually completely unrelated to the European and American badgers (which are mustelids). The Australian badger is a marsupial most closely related to the Tasmanian devil.

[-] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

I don't want to know if this is true or not. Nobody look it up.

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[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Those are the ones related to drop bears, right? I mean they've gotta be.

[-] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Of course Australian badgers would do this.

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[-] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago

Reality is that they'll both kill you. European badgers are just more classy about it.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago

"oh dear oh dear i'm so sorry about this, i really am."

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Having recently learned that they were bred specifically to hunt badgers, I wonder how a dauchshund would fare against North American badgers πŸ€”

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago

Having met dachshunds, and having met American badgers, I'm going to put my bet on "poorly"

A couple hundred years of bred instincts aren't going to save the walking hotdog from the meth bear

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 month ago

I have three dachshunds. Two minis, Mary & Maizie, and a full size, Monty.

Mary we often call a little wolverine, because she can be vicious when she plays, making the most horrific noises you've ever heard out of any creature, much less someone that looks so absolutely disgustingly cute and adorable.

Her sister, Maizie, is the sweetest, kindest, shyest and nicest creature. Unless she sees a rat. Then it's terrifying. She makes no sound as she runs at full speed, and snaps it up and shakes at the speed of sound. I don't think her feet even touch the ground.

Monty is the biggest baby, he just wants to sleep and cuddle, even when he was a puppy. Unless you touch his mama. I am not allowed to hug my own mother, because he stands there and barks and howls and shoves his body between whoever's touching her and her. Lol.

If anything of them could take a badger it would Maizie, but I don't think even she could.

Also, this was originally supposed to be much shorter and more on topic, but then I had a chance to describe my dogs, and, y'know, muh babies!

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[-] Thteven@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

It depends on how many dachshunds you're willing to lose.

[-] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago

I remember learning that after my dad told me stories about badgers near the Minnesota farm where he grew up killing dogs significantly larger than dachshunds and thinking β€œhow the fuck does that work??”

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[-] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

He's just a lil guy dies

[-] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 22 points 1 month ago

Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!

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[-] abbadon420@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago

That's exactly what badgers do in the stories of Beatrix Potter

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Honey badgers will fuck up your shit simply because it was there.

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

could one say, they don't give a shit?

[-] xorollo@leminal.space 15 points 1 month ago
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[-] dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

American badger is a wolverine? Genuine question.

[-] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago

No, this is a wolverine:

It's about twice as big as an American badger.

[-] thenextguy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago
[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
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[-] Z_Poster365@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

European badgers would defend their mountain fortress from a weasel warlord

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[-] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 1 month ago

I've witnessed a European badger stand up to a golden retriever much bigger than it barking and growling aggressively in its face and the badger stood its ground. I don't know if it was too scared to turn away or if it genuinely wanted to fight, but it was brave AF either way. (also I've never seen such a clean badger, but tbf most examples I see are dead on the road :/ )

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

If you think American badgers are bad wait till you meet the crack fox

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this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
980 points (98.1% liked)

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