TW: intrusive thoughts

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Trying to do anything with intrusive thoughts

Middle of a conversation

Let's think about the most horrible thing I could say and possible repercussions, instead of the topic at hand.

Having sex

It would be really awkward if I got fixated on an image of my grandpa and literally couldn't get him out of my mind, hope that doesn't happen. Better focus really hard on not thinking about that or a traumatic thing from my past or the terrible things happening around the world or-- shit I'm not enjoying this anymore.

Putting silverware away

Definitely don't want to wedge one of these between my teeth and pry it around. Gotta be careful not to skoop out my eyeballs too. Fuck I'm gonna finish later

Driving anywhere

The difference between me surviving this drive and not is a very slight angle change with my hands on the wheel. Literally turn the wheel a quarter of an inch and I die. Gotta grip it extra hard to make sure I don't decide to do that.