My favorite part of this:
...Collins said that “part of the reason we did bought InfoWars is because people on Bluesky told us it would be funny to buy InfoWars” adding that “those people were right” this “is the funniest thing that has ever happened”.
That also sounds like the kind of prank that Cards Against Humanity would pull if they had access to as much cash. I love this so much.
"Tim onion" got an irl lol out of me
Is that a Trump "Tim Apple" reference? I wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't called it out.
The Onion's first headline needs to be:
"Oh Shit! It's ALL true!"
They should harness the crazy for good. Make conspiracy theory-sounding stories, but make them factual and get people to take positive action.
"They created chemicals you can inject into the bloodstream that keeps them from getting the Measels."
"The overlords in their golden towers want to tell you who you are and aren't allowed to love."
The vaccine one would probably be better as: “independent thinking researchers developed a means of using your own body’s immune response to prevent diseases with a mere injection. Some of them even refused to patent it. But then the media started lying to you about them, trying to get you to stop accepting these miracles? Why, just so some companies could make more money selling you proprietary snake oil to keep you comfortable while you’re sick.”
Coming from a reformed conspiracy theorist, that was frighteningly good.
Thanks! The trick is to understand the emotions they aim for and the baseline rhetorical tricks.
Conspiracies stem from knowing you’re getting fucked, but that most people are good. It’s an attempt to find explanations when the world feels wrong. Someone did it. You just have to sell the truth in the tone that they’re used to hearing. Especially with vaccines where the truth does sound like a free lunch, until you realize that it’s governments and insurers paying for vaccines and it saves them and the economy money by you not getting sick or needing stronger medicines. These are the two groups that desperately want you to exercise, eat right, and quit smoking
Reassemble the MythBusters
This is brilliant. Please send them an email with this idea.
The funniest piece is going to be seeing old followers believe it’s still the InfoWars they know and love. It took forever for people to stop eating the onion in large numbers, and it still manages to happen on occasion.
There is opportunity here. Initially, anyway.
A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.
They don't change Infowars' branding or anything but the articles become subtly liberal.
Maybe an overt purchase is better but I really want to troll the right.
"Do your swastikas send the right message to your neighbors? Maybe try this instead..."
A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.
"Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. "
don't change Infowars' branding
"Founded in 1999 ... InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.
...
InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. ... a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars."
I'm absolutely not disagreeing with you; I believe the onion will continue on doing "its thing" and keeping on-brand for both entities. Do exactly what you say and publish articles either believable or outlandish enough to break through to people
I think there's always going to be that group of people. Another example: folks that didn't notice that The Colbert Report was satire.
I thought Glenn Beck was satire. Watched it several times and then one day .. wait, that's not a joke?
Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!
Either way, this may be the best news I've heard all year, thank you!
I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars' library of footage. Maybe they could "keep" Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef's last episode.
Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.
Considering what The Onion has been able to do with manipulating video for the sake of comedy, I can't wait to see what they do with any of their footage.
truly the wildest of timelines
Musk just had a judge in Texas say they're going to review the bid. I guess we know who the other bidder was now.
Remember Stephen Colbert's satire? Conservatives loved him.
Satire of something already completely outlandish is problematic.
What problem did that cause? It only made everyone else laugh at them harder.
You could accidentally create new conspiracies, that people legitimately believe.
I don't think that ever happened with Colbert, did it?
PrObLeMaTiC
it's when there are problems
Its also exactly the kind of thing you'd expect to read about in the onion.
This is beyond mear irony.
This was not on my bingo card.
LoL, AJ lost the Info War. 🤣👍
The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy theory site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’
They're halfway there already.
Who did they give money to? Maybe it would've been better if they just created a offbrand infowars.
The assets were auctioned off to pay his debt to the families of the Sandy Hook shooting.
So effectively they gave money to the families of children killed in a school shooting that he slandered in cruel and vile ways.
Given that the families pretty reasonably dislike him, the added bonus of his creation being used to openly mock him and promote a message they endorse is quality icing on the cake.
They should send Alex Jones a $1 "royalty" check every month - just so that he doesn't forget it.
Make it $0.01. No need to waste too much money.
Nah. They should just make sure the checks bounce.
Will anyone visiting know the difference?
Probably depends on whether they see a difference between intentional and unintentional satire.
The onion is a satirical takes on the news. Infowars is just utter nonsense.
Infowars could claim that immigrants are using teleporters to enter the country and its readership would believe it.
Yeah, that's my point. The idiots visiting it won't get satire.
Info Wars might actually become credible
Wouldn't that be ironic
Alanis Morrisette plays
So....the onion is now donating money to Alex Jones.
Thats kinda fucked.
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
