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submitted 2 months ago by M0oP0o@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/28523918

This made me laugh incredibly hard, so had to cross post it.

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[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 188 points 2 months ago

Y'all would have killed Jesus.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 47 points 2 months ago

fun fact... killing jesus was always god's plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it's all part of god's plan, right, and god's plan always comes to fruition.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago
[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago

The Abrahamic god is literally a war god. It evolved from El and Yahweh, members of the pantheon of the polytheistic Canaanite religion. El is the father of all gods and Yahweh is a weather and war god. So yeah no wonder that the Abrahamic god does crazy evil shit. Like killing all first born sons.

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[-] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 months ago
[-] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 months ago

you say that now but when the (checks current feelings are still, oh good) flames of (checks notebook on latest revisions, hahah stupid assholes) HELL are kissing your feet while a succubus sits on your face and.... ok brb this is fuckin hot...

[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

"Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state" - Killer Mike.

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[-] Steve@communick.news 103 points 2 months ago

Should we tell her there'll be another Pope, or is it funnier to let her keep believing?

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 103 points 2 months ago

She was likely against the somewhat liberal views of Pope Francis, like how Christians should be kind to gay people and refugees.

[-] pdxfed@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago
[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 12 points 2 months ago

Even the pope is just a church organ. I meant, his "policy" if you will was more than just his own. It's doubtful that Vance's visit (I will run with the idea*) will bring forth a more conservative pope.

* "Rep. Nancy Mace (...) bizarrely insisted that a visit by U.S. Vice President JD Vance did not lead to the pope's death."

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[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago

I'm very afraid that the next pope will be somebody American catholic bishops would approve of. a trans hating, immigrant-hating asshole who will excuse everything Nazi America does like that one nazi pope did historically

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[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 months ago

Hopefully one that pisses hateful bigots like her off even more.

#ZendayaForPope

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[-] Echinoderm@aussie.zone 10 points 2 months ago

But the next pope may be far more conservative than Francis, who by Catholic Church standards was unusually liberal.

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[-] Geetnerd@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago

This is the result of 40 years of Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, Rush Limbaugh, and all the other Right Wing Grifters that followed.

They know the lowest of us love cruelty as comedy.

[-] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

And for some odd reason they are ALL avid voters.

[-] Geetnerd@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Because they want to belong to "The Team."

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 10 points 2 months ago

Let's not forget Alex Jones, still holding on with this bare teeth claiming "The State" is after him. (heard a curated interview with Fucker Carlson yesterday, what a cringefest)

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[-] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 51 points 2 months ago

Is this what a good Christian sounds like?

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[-] MyOpinion@lemm.ee 50 points 2 months ago

My god did Vance kill the Pope!

[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

How dare you insinuate that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE, there isnt a single shred of evidence that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE. Id like to see anyone claiming or even hinting that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE take their evidence straight to Interpol so that it can be disproven categorically by trained experts that JD VANCE KILLED THE POPE.

[-] futatorius@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago

The poor pontiff wasn't used to being face-to-face with that level of evil and egotism. And he didn't think Vance would try to strangle him: "A message from Ratzinger! Bwahaha!"

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[-] arararagi@ani.social 45 points 2 months ago

They really hated him because he was a little more tolerant of minorities.

[-] wheeldawg@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 months ago

She hated him because he was at least a little ok with some LGBT.

I hated him for being the leader of one of the biggest, most corrupt organizations ever to exist on the planet.

We are (fucking definitely) not the same.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 42 points 2 months ago

I'm sory, did you just call the fucking Pope evil?

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[-] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 33 points 2 months ago

If God exists, then why does he destroy the faith of millions by allowing MTG to live?

[-] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 17 points 2 months ago

MTGs existence might be the strongest argument against a caring god.

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

Magic the gathering is not that evil. Is it?

[-] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Oh face of evil,

Oh Marjorie Trailer Queen,

The evil you know,

Is the evil you've seen.

Oh face of spite,

A reflection so mean,

The ugliest sight,

Is the one you preen.

Oh face of shame,

A soul so obscene,

The monster you blame,

Is the one you’ve been.

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[-] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Attention whoring as usual. And it’s working.

[-] ButtermilkBiscuit@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

She still looks like a neanderthal tho so at least we've got that going for us.

[-] EuropeanPrimate@lemm.ee 25 points 2 months ago

These people are crazy. Even if you think that, keep it to yourself.

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[-] futatorius@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago

If it were true that God defeats evil, Empty Greene would be a smouldering pile of ashes at a crossroads by now.

Karma is what we make it. The world don't care.

[-] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

So…. The pope is evil? Did he do a woke?

[-] neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 months ago
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[-] 3aqn5k6ryk@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

This fucking bitch.

[-] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

MTG very obviously doesn't really believe in the religion she claims to follow.

[-] GenderNeutralBro@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 months ago

Most Republicans don't. Never have in my lifetime, honestly, but with how hard they fight these days against e.g. feeding the hungry and treating the sick, it's more glaringly obvious than ever.

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[-] Chozo@fedia.io 19 points 2 months ago

Next week:

Margarine Trailer Queen: "What do you mean there's another pope?!"

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[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 17 points 2 months ago

Vultures.

It's an alt-right social media trend: descend on the dead before they're even cold.

That said, MTG is still dumb as bricks. Says a lot about MAGA, what type of women they bring forth. Sorry if that sounds sexist - or if, the sexism is not mine.

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[-] seemefeelme@infosec.pub 16 points 2 months ago

Americans - is the consensus of MTG that she actually believes the grift? Obviously the likes of Vance just say whatever wins the room, but she always gave me the impression that she believes every word of maniacal conspiracy she tweets.

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[-] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

You could also argue that this was a very old man. Is god asleep at the wheel?

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[-] Ilixtze@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

The people in the white house are talking more and more like gaudy villains from 90's anime.

[-] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Not that i believe in heaven or hell but if they did exist im pretty sure the pope gonna be aight

[-] arc@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Imagine the fun the world will have making jokes when this vapid bint exits the mortal realm.

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this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
509 points (96.2% liked)

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